Blinkers are like people.

A lot of the things I find awesome in life revolve around similarities and differences. Metaphors and similes. Tautologies and metonyms. Puns that smudge the borders between grammarnazi-ism and hilarity. You see this a lot in my writing. And in my humor – as well.

My favoritest joke (*which mostly proves that I am an acquired taste*):
**‘Do you know the difference between a tampon and a teabag?’**
*-confused silence, often followed by a ‘no’-*
**’Well. I’m sure as fuck not having tea at your house then!’**
*-insert me laughing hysterically-*

And I work through a lot of issues in my life by taking something entirely normal and basic from my day to day life – followed by finding the similarities between that simplicity and the complex world of feelings, and the bigger picture and my life’s meaning and goals and such. It’s surprising how often that works AND yields interesting thoughts and realizations (followed by, hopefully, some personal growth).
You will definitely recognize this if you’ve been reading my writings for longer than these previous 10 lines.

Today, as I was driving to the office, I pulled up at a crossroads near my house where people always drive like madmen. A car came up in the distance with its blinker on (*to turn into the road where I was waiting*).
I didn’t move.
And as I was standing there – unnecessarily unmoving – I realized that it was because I didn’t trust the blinker. He had that indication light on so far ahead that I figured he must’ve forgotten to turn it off at the last turn – instead of it indicating that he was indeed gonna pull into my road. I just waited to be sure.
He still pulled into the road.
My past experience had made me unnecessarily doubtful about the correctness of the blinker.

A couple of kilometers on in my journey I reached a roundabout and pulled to a standstill again because a car was already on it. Blinkerfree. Bound to pass right in front of me. This dude, however, pulled into the road next to me WITHOUT turning on the blinker, meaning I stopped for him even though I didn’t have to. Douchebag.

And sure enough, on the final stretch to the office I spent about 5 km driving behind a Skoda in the left lane with its left-turn-blinker CONSTANTLY on (even though there was no lefts anywhere to be had) because they forgot to turn it off. Only to be nearly killed by a Beemer pulling into a non-existing room between us WITHOUT using any sort of blinker whatsoever (as is mandatory for any BMW driver, obviously, dingleberries).

Blinkers have a very clear goal in life. They have a purpose. They have rules. They have etiquette and they have value when used correctly. Blinkers are awesome.
Thing is – SO many people in life are clueless about blinkers. Careless about blinkers. Bad drivers. Douchebag drivers. HORRENDOUS ‘PLEASE TAKE AWAY THEIR LICENSE’ DRIVERS (aka – me). We all know how blinkers SHOULD work and COULD work but adapt ourselves to be wary of them (*whether they’re used, abused or forgotten*) because of some special specimens that made us lose the trust in the system.

I find that blinkers are a lot like men. And red flags in dating.
Oftentimes we see them for what they are – we recognize, register and respect them for what we know them to be. However. Just as often we ignore them because we’ve been proven wrong in the past. Interpret them differently because we put them in our own contexts (usually blinded by love). Miss them, because we’re not paying attention. Forget them, because our minds are in entirely other places.

But with both blinkers, men and red flags: a mistake in interpretation could possibly mean a horrible horrible crash. We NEED to keep paying attention. But we also NEED to not take things blindly, just in case. A blinker isn’t always a blinker. And nothing blinking doesn’t necessarily mean safety. And just because it was blinking correctly once – doesn’t mean it’s gonna be an accurate blink every time. Because even though they’re awesome AND CAN tell us a lot of valuable things about someone’s driving or personality – they also might just be fucking bad drivers. Or Douchebag Dingleberries.

Blinkers you guys!
Blinkers are like flaggy people.
#Simile.


 

14 thoughts on “Blinkers are like people.

  1. blinkers are like interpersonal communication (but between cars haha well not rly tho..) and some ppl suck at it or just dont want to tell ppl where theyre going lol this is interesting!! same for men too i guess 👍

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  2. Good morning. Tea is now out of the question, lol. I enjoyed how your post progressed talking about blinkers (signals) and how unreliable they are but we are supposed to watch them, and even rely on them. Dangerous if we don’t and dangerous if we do. Actions speak louder than blinkers I suppose but we need to be aware. Not sure I appreciated blinkers being assigned only to the male gender but it is your post! Dingleberries is a new one for my vocabulary but it is has a certain visual that made me smile. Enjoy your day, and your afternoon tea. I enjoy your active and lively writing voice. Wonderful.

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  3. SMiLes Dear Zoe Nice to Drop By

    With Your BRAiN ALL LIT UP

    With Creative Colors

    Pouring Out

    Every Which

    Way i Always

    Love A Bit of A Challenge

    to Light My Brain Up in Everyday

    Menus of Both Arts And Sciences And People

    Combined For Humanity Greater in Balance

    Oh Lord

    Distracted
    Drivers

    Oh Lord
    As Science

    Shows Humans With
    The Attention Span of
    Literally Less than A Gold
    Fish Yes Less Than 3 Seconds Now…

    Ignorance Brews in Group Think Numbers

    Like Suicide Bombers With the Promise of
    72 Virginal Playthings to Use in the After

    Life Not Much Different Really
    Than Churches That Hold
    Hands With States

    And Promises Of
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    Preventative With
    Rewards The Same
    After Death too End Yes
    End Result Portable Morgues
    in Use in the Epi-Center of the
    Pandemic in the place of ‘Florida Man’
    USA Where Parents Get in Fist Fights

    Over Their Religious Right Not to Protect
    Their Unvaccinated Kids From the Most Deadly
    Part of the Pandemic At School And Oh Lord Even
    Church No Social Distancing or Masks the Most Vulnerable

    Among us
    The Children
    The Future of
    The Species At Hand…

    Yet On the Other Hands Humans
    Are Obviously Ignorantly Strangling
    Nature on Earth THeir Only Home Consuming
    More Than Giving Hoarding More Than Sharing…

    Is There An All Natural Price

    For Destroying

    The Only

    Home We
    Have Yes
    There Are Enough
    Humans And the Rest of
    Nature Has Obviously Had
    Enough of Us And Since We
    Are Nature We Are Obviously
    Culling Our Own Numbers by

    Our Own Volition With the Religion
    oF IGNoRaNCE Yes Ignoricism That
    Is Responsible For Age Long Eons of
    The Most Harming, Raping, Maiming And

    Killing Of Not Only

    Us Yet the Rest

    Of Nature True

    On The Other Hands

    For Those Who Are Not

    aS iGNorANT And Master the Tools
    NoW At Hand The Human Potentials
    Are Unlimited in Balance For SO MUCH
    FREE STUFF TO DO THAT USES VERY

    LITTLE OF THE
    ENVIRONMENT
    AT HAND

    OUR HOME

    AT ALL… hehe

    Like Fitting 244 Pounds
    of my ‘SoUL’ my ‘HeART’
    my “SPiRiT” For Real Yes
    All the Arts And Sciences
    i continue to Fulfill in Human Potential Now

    All through this Fiber Optic Cable Practically
    And Virtually As Avatar Beyond All Distance,
    Space, Time, And Matter Now For True This is

    Not me

    Really

    Only

    An Avatar
    in Symbols
    Practically
    Without Measure
    Just Bits and Bytes MaKinG me Real Now…

    While Some Folks Are Destroying the Earth
    Out of Balance All Distracted in the Religion
    oF iGNoRiCiSM Others Are Practically Shooting

    Past the

    Stars

    At The

    Speed oF LiGHT
    All Around the Globe
    Through Fiber Optic Cables Now

    SMiLes Lighter Than A Feather

    Faster

    Than

    The

    Wind

    i AM NoW…

    Yes Literally

    Faster Than a
    Speeding Bullet
    Impossible to Shoot
    Down As i Only Replicate
    And Spread Everywhere i go…

    Kinda Ironic if We Do Think About
    All The SiMiLarities They Are Really
    iNDeed Quite Hilarious it’s Silly Not to Laugh at

    The Whole Circus of Existence It’s All a Big Joke
    Wait Until ‘They’ Get A Load More of me That’s A Guarantee…

    Other Than That

    ‘This World

    Needs

    An Enema’…

    -The Plumber
    And my Name Isn’t Joseph…

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  4. I never trust indicators either when a mistake means I’m getting t-boned! I wait until I can see them slowing down and getting ready to turn. Trust in physics over human behaviours wherever you can when :). They actually teach us to do this in driving lessons too.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Blinkers!!! I love this post. I have list count of the times I have sat in my car, waiting to pull out onto a main road and the cars on the main road don’t use their blinkers and turn into the side road I’m waiting to get out of. It’s a hood job I don’t have my car window open; I often have blinker language flowing at this point 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

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  6. Ahahaha!! You’re such an amazing writer!! Love how it began with the difference between teabags and tampons (I laughed out too hehe!!) and continued to blinkers, Well written ❤

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