You know how they always say that dogs look like their owners? (Or, if you’re the mean kind, owners look like their dogs) It’s hilarious. Afghan hound owners rocking the same hippie hairstyle as their canine. English bulldog lovers with similarly scrunched up snouts. Dainty but feisty chihuahas with knitted sweaters, like their shrill-voiced yappy mommies.
But there’s a truth in it. Evety selfhelp book ever knows this too. They advocate the need to love yourself as who you are. To find and be your own person before opening up to another. To not lose yourself in your partner and to not absorb their whole identity. Julia Roberts portrayed it perfectly in ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ where she ‘became’ each of her partners in a (to me) very confronting scene about me-in-life.
I think it’s sort of inevitable. Spend a lot of time with someone and they WILL rub off on you. Whether that’s a conscious process or just the constant proximity doesn’t matter. But the longer you’re together with a loved one – the more the meshing happens. Inside jokes, dual hobbies, mutual acquaintances and preferences and traits. It happens. Even if you want to selfhelp-avoid-it.
I used to watch a whole lot of Dutch soccer. An ex fervently watched every Eredivisie match ever and would clear the books to be able to do so. So I watched a lot of soccer, because he did. I was very knowledgeable about the league in those years. These days I can barely name a soccer player with a matching team.
Then I used to see a loooot of dancing clips. And League of Legends streams. It’s what happens when you date a Caribbean with a love for gaming. Luckily – I liked both of those way before I liked said dude (and remained to love them after).
With my last ex it was much the same. I merged and molded to his intakes. Preferences. Hobbies. Overdosed on it. Discarded it after. Took some time to see our ‘together’ parts as just ‘mine’ afterwards too. But managed to separate the ‘me’ from the ‘us’ eventually too.
And now with the new bloke?
I already see it happening again. You can test me on the 2020(1) Olympics right now. I have watched a BOATLOAD of it. Not nearly as much as the lover, but because he eats, breathes and sleeps Olympics and (because I love him to bits) I now do watch a whole lot of it too.
And though I watch it because he watches it – I can’t help but love it. There’s so much bizarre sports. Superb sportsmanship. Weird tournament rules and awesome moments and just general epic medalbattles. So this morning, when I asked him jokingly what ‘we missed’ while sleeping…I realized that I was actually interested in the answer.
It’s happened. I’ve been turned into a sportslover-by-proxy again. Loving it because he does. But loving it none the less.
I mean….did you SEE that one dude ask if he could share his gold medal with his buddy? Awesomesauce.