They say that the things that bother you the most about other people…
The things that make you ‘clash’ with others…
The things that you can’t deal with from opposite parties…
Are the things strongly represented in your own personality. Positively, or negatively so.
Your ‘allergies’ when it comes to human interaction – can be the things you are, do and radiate yourself (in exaggerated form) and thus can’t handle in anyone else, or are completely opposites to things you hold very near and dear exhibited by people who approach life entirely differently.
This way of thinking is often captured in Daniel Ofmans Core Quadrants – which take any quality you have (or want) and break that up into four distinct areas to your personality and/or behavior. And that, my blogging friends, is an interesting way to view yourself, the people around you, and qualities in general. A good basis for reflection, I’d say!
I mean. One of my core qualities, I’d say, would be my efficiency in all things. I always strive after Bill Gates’ words of finding the lazy people to do the difficult jobs, cause they find the easiest ways to do them. C’est moi. Things. Need. To. Go. Quickly. Efficiently. Fast. Thoroughly. Completely. Which means that my pitfall might be rushing (and thus skipping on details) and being pushy in getting things done. Which makes patience my downfall and makes me absolutely HATE passive and calm and collected people who….take….their…..time. For everything.
I can’t deal with people who think before they speak. Who weigh their words, options and choices. Who value quality over speed and who make sure everything is right on the first try. Which. In truth. Describes a LOT of people in IT, who can be a frigging deathtrap of an quality minded bunch. Yet, simultaneously – I do NOT respond well to being rushed, either. Mostly because I’m usually the one rushing others AND because I’m probably already working at top speed anyway. Aka. My allergies go both way. I’m both allergic for my own core qualities in other people (when overly present) AND to my allergies displayed in others.
Same goes for Directness – another one of the things I consider a core quality. I WILL tell you how it is. Always. Making me a rude, mean and unnecessarily disruptive person sometimes. It’s a pitfall. I know. Aka, I love people who are thoughtful and attentive and politically correct, except for when that boils down to people-who-always-agree or who nod yes to your face and then do something entirely different behind your back. BUT I pretty much also detest people who say it straight to my face like a blunderbus. Too much directness, like my own….and I get severely allergic.
I guess what I’m trying to say is this:
If your allergies towards people can be triggered both on personality overdoses, or withdrawal in your co-inhabitors or co-workers – life can be hard as fuck. Because not ending up with a murder charge is hard, when some people just grind you the wrong way. Constantly.
I often think of myself (and call myself) a simple soul…but on days like these I realize that, if this theory were to hold true, I’m one hell of a complex person. Because BOY are a LOT of people in my allergies sometimes! Core qualities or allergies – I think the easy way of looking at them (for me) is like this: as soon as you put TOO in front of anything – it’s not gonna mesh with me. I’m such a person of extremes, I vibe best with people who are moderate.