Defuse

Everyone gets angry sometimes.

Even the people who never seem to get angry. Those are apparently the ones to watch out for.

You don’t have to watch out for me. Except for when I’m wielding a baseball bat. Or am unfed. And you proceed to piss me off.

To be fair, that’s not TOO hard. I get pissed off a lot. Really angry, not so much, but pissed off – sure. And granted..the two ARE very much alike in many of the telltale signs.

Which is why I don’t get people who don’t get me when I’m angry. I’m a simple angry creature. We all know that humans tend to be fight or flight when it comes to fear. I think the same goes for anger, a lot of the time.

There’s people that hide their anger. Seethe inside. Build up that case inside their minds. Are inwardly angry. Those people are scary to me.

Me? I’m outwardly angry. You’ll know I’m angry. My words will show you. My actions will. My expression will. It’s hard to miss. And because it is hard to miss – it should be handled. Quickly and correctly.

Mostly because you don’t turn away from, or ignore a bomb once the fuse is lit. Not a smart move to not address that problem either. Bombs need to be defused. As do I.

And, like bombs, if you know what you’re doing – that’s easy as cutting a simple wire. Say the right thing and explosion avoided. Usually that thing is ‘sorry, I was wrong’. Or ‘I love you’. Or ‘would you like some McNuggets?’.

I wrote a similar blog in a different fashion once, but the concept hasn’t changed for me in forever. When you get me angry – the process is simple:

* Acknowledge

* Defuse

* Feed until soothed

But when you have new people in your life – they might not know such basic things. As you might not know such things about them. An exploration necessary to discover boundaries but not necessarily pleasant. Pleasantly necessary though, because once established good for any future altercation.

I had a friend once who raised their voice at me if I was angry. As if overdominating might sate my anger. Lemme tell ya. Not how that works – I don’t back down and I hold grudges for a lot longer than loves lost.

And I’ve had people who tried reasoning with me when angry. It don’t work. Like telling me to sit still when there’s a wasp around. I ain’t gonna listen to rationality at such moments. Instinct takes over. I’ll just get more pissed.

But the VERY worst is the people who opt for ignoring anger. Who think letting me calm down is a great idea. Who withdraw and let me simmer in whitehot rage. Not. A. Smart. Move. I’m that lit fuse you can’t ignore. I have to be dealt with.

But the reason why I blog about this today – it’s because (angry or not), things like these need to be addressed. Shared. Made visible. Not just by me but by you too. You should let people know about your manual. And they should share theirs.

Because if we all would communicate more clearly about needs like these – I bet we’d all be a lot less angry all the time. Or a lot less long, at least.

So now you know!

31 thoughts on “Defuse

  1. A frank description! Helps to know how to handle your anger. I wish I could describe my moods as simply as you’ve done.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i LiVE iN An Area WHere
    Anger Management

    Is Necessary

    to Survive

    Part of the

    Reason Why i Dance Zoe

    NoW in Public 14,866 Miles
    in 92 Months in Trump Town
    USA People have been Foolishly
    And Ignorantly Going Without Masks

    Through the Whole Civil Challenge to
    Protect Their Neighbors Close to 50-50
    Some Days Where Even Required in Stores
    As Such Yet of Course Not Enforced Well Well

    Well i am Vaccinated Now So Is my Immediate Family
    And Although Their Ignorance
    Fueled A Lot of Dance As You FEEL What i MEAN Their

    Ignorance

    Will Only Harm

    Them And Those

    Who They Love Unmasked
    And Unprotected By Vaccines

    Too And i’ve Had Young Friends
    Die From That New Variant of Covid-19
    From India The World Is Too Small oF A Place
    Now to be Ignorant When it Comes to Pandemics….

    Natural Selection Baby It Happens Some Days there
    is No Choice Yet to Live And Let Die And Hope Rationality

    (Guns or
    Roses it

    Matters

    Not)

    And

    Science

    Saves

    ’em From

    A Religion oF iGnorance
    Or Ignorance of Science
    It’s Come to the Point Now
    There is Not Much Difference
    Oh Lord Add Politics in the Mix
    With The Religion of Ignorance

    True A Rampage Dancing Spree Only Safe ‘Postal Solution’
    Thank You For ALLoWinG This Drive Through Drive By Hehe…

    Other Than That Born With Hardly Room To Breathe Out of
    my Nose So Glad to Shed A Mask Totally Protected Vaccinated Now

    Yeah It’s true my Nike Apple Watch Always Reminding me to Breathe i’m like

    i know

    i know

    i know

    Get off my Case…:)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. No one is more dangerously insane than the one who is same all the time: he is like a steel bridge without flexibility and the order of his life is rigid and brittle.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It took me three days to realize one of my boyfriends was giving me the silent treatment because he was mad at me. Apparently I “made him” go to the zoo with me. I invited him, he came, had fun and then got made because he didn’t feel like he had enough time to study for a test and it was my fault.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This makes a lot of sense. Every person has a different way of handling anger. And maintaining a healthy relationship with anyone means understanding their positives and not so positives. We all don’t have the same reactions, but that doesn’t mean anyone’s reaction is less justified than ours. Working on fruitful communication is the best route. Thanks for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

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