Come prepared.

I’ve already rehearsed,

Every….possible…option. Every location. Every situation.

I’ve already imagined,

Every….thing…that you could say. Would say. Should say.

I’ve already practised,

Every….thing…I might reply. Want to reply. Can’t reply.

I’ve already calculated,

Every….possible…win. Ran through every probable loss. Balanced out my arguments, and figured out yours. Mediated your demands and summarized my needs.

I’ve yelled at you, and had you yell at me – without ever making a sound. Heard shattering silverware. Slamming doors. Breaking glass. Yet not seen a single thing actually damaged.

I’ve spent so many hours combatting people. In battles never fought. In fights never battled. In clashes without a clash.

Because when I fight. I want to come prepared. But most of the time – I find I’m not prepared to actually fight.

Because what’s in my head is probably not in theirs. And the problems I see, invisible to them. The fights I imagine, not there to be fought.

And for all the preparing that I do…I hardly ever come prepared…for the fact that there’s really nothing to prepare for.

I only need to be prepared…to stop obsessing over these preparations.

Fight that need to come prepared.

25 thoughts on “Come prepared.

    1. Yes, yes we are.
      I do think that’s what got us this far evolutionwise. If you plan for surviving the worst instead of falling surprised…you’re sure to live longer.
      Question is if longer in that scenario also means happier…though…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So true. That’s something I keep having to remind myself of whenever my body freaks out 😅 it’s so easy to start judging it, but remembering that it is doing it’s very best to keep me safe helps me a lot. But yes, just because something feels safer doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better.

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  1. I have long conversations with myself, then my husband walks through the room and I glare at him because I’m reliving some past grievance he knows nothing about. Am I twisted? Or should he be more perceptive? Okay, I’m twisted, so good to know I’m not alone. C

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Consider for a moment breathing. Do you breath, or are you breathed? You can feel it either way. If you become conscious of breathing and you get the sense that you’re doing it in the same way as thinking or walking but if you forget about it it, goes on and you don’t have to do it at all. As that is why breathing exercises are fundamental in all meditation practices in the Orient, because you can understand through breathing and through the experience of breathing that there really is no differentiation between the involuntary experience on the voluntary experience. But when you make set game rules whereby you identify all that you do voluntarily
    and all that happens in voluntarily with the other, and then with what happens to you, you put a gulf between these things not realising and this is the secret that is never given away, that self and other are inseparable. Just in the same way, that the front in the back of a coin are different but identical is all one can do in exactly the same way the experience of self and the experience of other are mutually necessary. Thus you wouldn’t know what you meant by self unless you knew what the other is and you wouldn’t know of this other unless you knew what you meant by self. So they are therefore polarities like north and south pole of the magnet they’re inseparable. But that secret doesn’t get out because of civilized language and thought ignores the fact. That all classes all logical classes and words are after all labels on classes, constructed so they are intellectual boxes and every box which has an inside, also must have an outside. And we think that insides exist apart from outside and outside the pot from inside. Fundamentally we don’t realise that although they are opposed, they go together. And you see that is the secret of the whole thing. This is what the child is not let in to. And so instead the child is defined. As a stranger in the earth. And not as a symptom of it. And as a result of that we have the vast terrifying social problem of alienation of feeling that the world outside human skins is unfeeling, fully-automatic stupidity. Which we have to fight. And dominate, otherwise it will swallow us up and condemn us to the imaginary terrors of everlasting nothingness. Prepare for ARMAGEDDON

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  3. Definitely recognize the imaginary fights. And the discrepancies with reality. But yes, I too want to be prepared. Want to talk about it. Want to defend my side. But they don’t seem to listen to my thoughts often… Yes, we need to stop needing that.

    Liked by 1 person

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