Discrepancies

Todays blog is going to be a short little thing. Unlike the ones you’re used to from me, I wager, seeing as I have this tendency to WAY overstep ‘normal’ blog-lengths (although, all of you reading generally don’t really seem to mind). I can’t help it. I’m a wordy little bitch. And I just have a lot of thoughts about a lot of things.

But as it comes to this topic – I only have one: Why?

Why is it that we as a people are so much more comfortable in the realm of empathy when it comes to pain, failure and loss, than when it comes to happiness, love and success?
Think about it.
We have been programmed to express sympathy to those who are suffering. To those who are unwell. We feel safe sharing our similarities and own experiences when it comes to personal situations that border on the negative – but shy away from sharing congratulations when things are going well for others.

An easy example:
A poem I post about heartbreak will get a boatload of loves. And even more comments. Comments of those who can relate. Of those who went through the same thing, or are going through it right now. Of those who offer wisdom, solutions or just comfort with their words. They’re an invite for interaction. Yet a poem about love. About satisfaction and a sense of peace in life is met with a cold shoulder.

We’re so used to the envy and jealousy that comes with the success reel of others – that we are subconsciously trained NOT to acknowledge successes like these. We wouldn’t want your good fortunes to go to your head, right? And somehow, sharing happiness does not often lead to others sharing theirs. It is met with a silence. A quiet regard. And just a ‘good for you’. Even though it might be an invitation to share your joy. Your rosey moments. Your pride and your conquests.

Why is it that we feel so strong together in our wallowing. Yet can’t be one when it comes to rejoicing?

Does it not make more sense to build eachother up in our strong moments – instead of finding solace when we’re weak?

Why don’t we celebrate the wins – but measure life in our losses?

31 thoughts on “Discrepancies

  1. Of course we must celebrate our wins. But sorrow and compassion is more in our genes. Awakened and fed by the news items we see on television and social media.

    We must create our own perfect and happy world I assume. Let’s start!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So You Ask Why Is It So
    Lonely In Heaven These
    Days Zoe It’s Like The

    Day In Church
    Choir So Full of
    Joy That A Young
    Woman Covered Her
    Eyes And Said Oh God
    Your Face Is Too Bright

    Folks Have Been Begging
    me Forever It Seems For
    Whatever It Is i Am On

    Yet This It’s What It’s like
    To Be Born With A Smile

    Yep Still

    Have A Newborn
    Pic Born With A Smile
    Of Love For No Other

    Dam
    Reason
    Than A Smile

    Feels Good So Why
    Does Misery Love
    Company So Much

    And The Happy One
    With The Most Energy
    Naturally Ends Up Alone

    Folks Bond
    Best With
    Those Who
    Share Their
    Feelings Most

    Of Course i Came to
    Understand Why too
    As i’ve Been To The Polar
    Opposite Place The Place
    Of Hell Within Too My

    Mama’s

    SMile Was
    So Bright in
    Hell i Had to
    Cover my Whole
    Soul Nothing Hurts
    As Much In Hell As
    Seeing Heaven All

    Around

    You

    Having

    No Way
    To Enter

    Hint: Lots Of
    People LiVE iN
    Hell Don’t Let All
    The Winning And
    Fancy This And That
    Fool Ya All The Instagram
    Beautiful Butt Pics This

    Heaven

    Game

    Is Naked

    And All Based

    Within You Are

    Also One Of Those

    Kids In The Movie

    About The Strange

    Ones You Get To Stay
    Too And Wonder Why
    Others Don’t Get to Come…

    We’ve Come To Believe
    That Heaven is What We

    Compete For

    Win

    -n-

    Buy

    Nope

    It’s Naked
    Cooperative And Free
    Best in Flow With No ‘Reasons’

    Love Your Heaven Dear Lots
    More Fun Than Hearing

    About

    Your

    Hell Yet i’m
    Glad i Got
    To Go To Hell
    Too As i Still Get to Care

    About People Who Stay

    There

    Too

    How Impoverished

    i Would Be Without
    Being Devil 😈 Too…

    Look At This Way

    All That

    Makes

    You Truly

    Happy Is Love

    Isn’t This True

    This Is Why People

    Are So Sad/Empty/Never

    Enough They Don’t Feel/

    Have Love’s Energy

    It’s

    This God

    Damn Simple…

    Love Is on A Death Bed

    Their ‘True Force’ Is Weak

    Sunshine Within Gone Dark…

    As Far

    Down

    As

    BLaCK
    Hole Sun Abyss…

    Other Than That Apathy…

    Anxiety… Mixed With

    Misery

    Loves

    Company

    As Only Relief

    Yawn… First
    World Last Problems🌎

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha, controversial. Don’t ask me! I’ve been wondering the same thing. Although, here’s a thing I’m quite satisfied about— on my own blog there hasn’t been such a discrepancy. Maybe I have better followers? 😜

    I really relate, though. I love seeing others’ successes, whether close friends or strangers. What matters is the health of everyone as a whole. Other people’s health is your health, because it’s only a net gain, there’s no loss to yourself. But this absolute kind of perspective has always been natural to me, I’ve never compared myself to others, even at school. And I’ve always felt like a complete fucking alien 😆😆😆. You know the people I most closely relate to? Wise older women! Churchgoing grandmas, they just get it!!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I’ve noticed my more socially “taboo” subjects get a cold response and I guess because people don’t know what to say. I’m quite cut throat at times and writings about suicide can render you blanked by WordPress… Hmm, think a bit of editing is in order!! But yes, I totally agree with your observations.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Love this post… I too post overly wordy blogs (and also write peaceful poems).

    I’ve noticed the quandary you’re talking about. I think we’re conditioned into it by society and schooling: we’re raised with a scarcity mindset where competition rules, it tells us there’s not enough for everyone, so rather than celebrate another’s wins we tend to see it as a reflection of our own failings.

    I also think we can unpick it and challenge this type of thinking. Believe it or not, social media and blogging has helped me with this. I see writers like me trying to make their mark and I want to support their successes because I get how much it means to them, it means the same to me.

    I hope the tide is turning, empathy and compassion seem to be the buzz words at the moment, let’s hope it can extend into trying to raise each other up.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Excellent point you’ve raised. We have a terrible addiction as a species to constantly attempt to extract the’I’ from experience. For man seems to be unable to live without myth, without the belief that the routine and drudgery, the pain and fear of this life have some meaning and goal in the future. At once new myths come into being – political and economic myths with extravagant promises of the best of futures in the present world. These myths give the individual a certain sense of meaning by making him part of a vast social effort, in which he loses something of his own emptiness and loneliness. Yet the very violence of these political religions betrays the anxiety beneath them – for they are but men huddling together and shouting to give themselves courage in the dark. No amount of anxiety will have any effect on what will happen. To hold your breath is to lose your breath.

    You’re judged on the material possessions you own, that are in turn a measure of your success. What you own, ends up owning you. Buying things to impress the people that you don’t like.

    The rat race is real. The irony of the naming of this phrase I find quite amusing. Rats have no regard for authority or following any orders and they have sex around 50 times a day. If this was part of the rat race, I’d be happy to take part

    Liked by 2 people

  7. To be honest I recognize this in myself.. Lol it’s a hard pill to swallow when you know you do this and you can’t really explain why or deter yourself? Perhaps it’s a survival tactic… Please note I am not extreme though, but I do notice hints of this behaviour in me, my friends… Maybe acknowledging someone’s happiness and success puts our own happiness/success in question? Under a microscope? People are more apt to judge others than to reflect on their own actions… 👏Lots of thinking to do! 🤔

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I agree! People like to leave a word of advice and feel like they are “helping” But if you seem happy and in love and things are going right, well then they feel like you don’t need them to say anything. Weird

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes, just what I was thinking. If someone’s happy, they don’t need you to reach out, although after reading this post I might have to reconsider that position. I guess it couldn’t hurt to say, glad everything is good with you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. People like drama, controversy, trauma…love, joy, success ~ meh! Why is that? I wonder if we’re wired to scan for the negative, maybe a survival technique? I mean the things that bubble up in my mind are often fear, regret, frustration, envy, anger, and so on. I’m trying meditation, we’ll see if it helps, C

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I’m not quite sure about this. When I think about my own reactions, well, I love to share joy, to congratulate, but yes, I feel less inclined to ‘help’ by sharing my own similar stories. Whereas when someone is in pain, I tend to overdo the helping by showing I’m trying to think of solutions (hmm by coincidence this seems related to my blogpost of today) or ‘you are not alone’ stories…
    But my personal experience is more like this: when you’re having success, you have many friends, but when you’re down and having setbacks, it seems to get quiet…. That’s one of the reasons I started blogging, to have myself to talk to 🙄🙃😇

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This made me think! I often find myself relating to pain than joys of people. It’s a odd one, it should be the other way round – celebrating moments of joys. I don’t know🙃

    Liked by 1 person

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