We’re taking the Easter weekend as an excuse to binge all of the Jurassic movies that have appeared on Netflix.
(And increasing my Zelda chances from non-existent to not-instantly-dieing)
((And putting kittens in a blender))
(((NOT AN ACTUAL BLENDER! It’s a cardgame, don’t worry)))
But me…binging Jurassic Park? That’s surely something I’d never expected myself to say! Because for as long as I remember…Jurassic Park has been my nemesis in the field of scary movies.
I’ve always laughed my way through all of the Paranormal Activities. Giggled my way through the hilariously bad effects of things like The Nun and Saw and Chucky and pretty much anything else that’s supposed to give you nightmares. Ain’t nothing too scary for this chick (even though I dislike psychological thrillers and horror movies on the whole…I CAN watch them, no problem)
And sure. Jump scares really do make me jump. I won’t deny this. Especially when it’s in a dark scene in a dark room…cause I can’t see a damn thing in the dark (extra challenging when driving at night, lemme tell you, when the only thing you CAN see is the white road divides or taillights of the car in front of you). Or when there’s things involved that are being shoved under nails and the like, to give you the real life cringe for imagining the pains.
But gore? Blood? Parts splattering in different directions or limbs unpleasantly separated from others? Not a problem. I can do scary movies. Easy. Unless they were the first Jurassic Park movies. No way Jose. Up until this weekend, at least!
I dunno whether it was the childhood trauma of that first time I watched Jurassic Park. Literally through my fingers clamped over my eyes, held breath and tears streaming down my face because of those damn raptors living it up on an island. Or whether it was the excellently executed moments of suspense and BOOM RAPTOR IN YO FACE scares that are abundant in it. All I know is that I never made it through that movie without some tactically planned peebreaks or other distractions.
But yesterday…I managed. We watched Jurassic Park. And I really really watched!
Personal growth ya’ll. Just kidding. I still flinched at the kitchen scene and compound fight and and and. But I made it through.
I suppose having someone next to you that makes you feel really, genuinely safe makes all the difference. Perks of boyfriends, people. You can conquer Jurassic Park!
But I’ll still exit the room when they take out the bamboo shoots to shove under nails. Just saying. That’s not ok!