One mustn’t be too hasty in ones rejoicing. One shouldn’t sell the skin before the bear’s been caught. One shouldn’t celebrate before the final word’s been spoken. And one should never assume that good things might actually happen during COVID-times. Apparently.
Because the curfew, after a speed-appeal and lightning courtcase was already reinstated after a mere couple of hours of felt respite and joy. I have to take back all my happiness from yesterdays blog. Already. Fuck. Back to the drawing board for all of us sad lonely cretins on the hunt for love in an era of digital lockdown. Fuck. No more outside world between 21:00 and 04:30 for us poor Dutch bastards. And no serious outlook on a brighter corona-free-future as of yet.
This. Ruins. Even. The. Best. Of. Moods.
So as a means of coping with the frustration – I’m gonna put down a bunch of other things I hate (almost) as much as COVID. They say blogs are a coping mechanism for some, for a reason, right? So if I put all of my venom and rage in this here little blog, I’m going to not-feel it in my actual body and day right now. At least. That’s the theory. And I learnt this from the best movie ever so, it must be true.
Ten things I hate about today, outside of fucking COVID-19:
* When the volume or meter isn’t at an even number (and/or a multiple of 5’s). I can’t have the radio on 9. Or 11. It’s gotta be 10. And I will slap the living daylight out of ya if you dare cross me in that regard.
* People who put on their socks before their pants. Fucking psychos.
* When someone calls you, and you miss the call only to ring back RIGHT after….and then THEY DON’T PICK UP.
* When you get a time-window for a delivery that’s A DAY LONG, and the fucking delivery guy shows up in the last 5 minutes of waiting-the-entire-day. (Or worse even, not at all).
* When you are socking around the house and step in a mysterious puddle of remnant-snow, or spilt drink or any other fluid unexpectedly. Soggy Socks Suck.
* Passive aggressive neighbors who flippin’ tow your garbage can onto your driveway from the collection spot as a reminder that you weren’t quick enough to do it yourself to their taste. SORRY that I’m doing other things than sitting and waiting for the garbage truck only so I can go get my bin 30 seconds after they leave.
* When that one strand of hair just refuses to stay in the ponytail and makes you look like a crazy cowlick person in your Zoom meeting, no matter how often you try to flatten it.
* To-do lists that are so long that they can’t fit on a single page (forcing you to scribble inbetween the lines OR start a new page, both of which are not ok).
* When you dive into a cupboard on the hunt for that bar of chocolate you’re craving, and you realize your greedy ass already ate it. And you have literally no one to blame but yourself.
* When you’re having a great dream and you need to wake up for a toilet break even though you know you’re not going to be able to go back to the awesomeness.
So, how’s your day going huh?
Better than mine I’m hoping.
If not: have an obligatory empathy ‘Awwww’ in advance.