A lot of the time I manage to convince myself that I’m a normal functioning human being. One of the great big pool of the many. A unique being in a world where everyone’s unique, so not really unique at all, but still unique at being unique.
Sometimes, though, I find myself noticing things about myself that aren’t really ‘right‘. Or ‘standard‘. Or ‘normal‘. They make me unique, but not in a conscious way, so maybe that’s just a nice way of saying ‘fucked up‘, or ‘broken‘. Or maybe I’m just so evolved that the normal brainwaves of you mere mortals are nowhere in the vicinity of my thinking capacities (I’m going with broken, personally).
One such moment occurred yesterday, when I was chatting away on some dating app or other, and the topic turned to music. Now. Music isn’t all too complicated a topic (unless you ask me to justify my taste for horrendous artists and the much hated ‘I love country’ statement) until it makes you come to a realization that music apparently doesn’t work the same for everyone. Or at least, for me.
How did I come to this realization?
Someone said that they loved just ‘putting on some music and relaxing‘. Which, granted, is a pretty common statement that I hadn’t really ever pondered all too much. A lot of people feel like that about music. I mean, how many times have you seen movies where the epitome of relaxation is the scarcely clad female lead sinking into a VERY foamy bathtub, with candles burning and sweet sweet music playing. I was all on board with that being a thing. Until yesterday when I suddenly felt weirded out by someone putting it like that. Because to me – music isn’t relaxing. Like. At all.
Even when it’s the most chill and flowy, musically gentle, sleep-inducing little tune – that’s NOT relaxing to me. Music to me is hard work. Seriously. I suppose it fits in with my overthinking persona, but when someone (or myself) puts on a song, my brain starts racing in about 10 different directions. Relaxation? Not an option.
Because regardless of what we’re listening to – I’ll be trying to decide on a great many things (instead of just, what other people apparently DO manage, appreciating the song). For instance:
– Who is the artist? I recognize this voice. They sound familiar. Who voiced that chorus? Damn, this sounds like Timbaland producing, I wonder who made this beat.
*Proceeds to Google all of these things*
– Damn, these lyrics are on point. I wonder if I’ve ever experienced something that way. Can I apply them to my life? Should I feel emotional about this? Hey, what was that sentence? I can’t hear what they’re saying exactly, what if I miss the entire message now?
*Proceeds to Google all of the lyrics and puts the song on repeat until she can hear them clearly*
– This song is so lovely. I wonder if there’s a videoclip that’s equally awesome. HEY, there’s a videoclip. I know that actor from somewhere, I wonder if he’s in that one series I once watched 5 years ago. YESS. I KNEW IT.
*And then I suddenly find myself three hours later, entrenched 16 levels in the depths of the Youtube archives, watching the blooper reel from the making of a Meghan Trainor popsong.*
Music, in that way, is complex. A simple song contains so many layers of information, all of which interests me in some capacity, that I can’t ‘just‘ listen to music. There’s so much to know, learn, connect and find when it comes to all of the samples, words, people (and people around those people). There’s numbers, and facts and live performances to judge against recorded songs and and and and.
Music is a LOT of things.
But to me?
It’s not relaxing.
Music on the brain
Definitely agree! Sometimes even i feel that music can be pretty distracting n fall into thw spiral of searching n searching for that artist who once performed the same song live which i have heard once while i was in my friend’s house.
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When I”m tired of feel a bit down I listen to music with headphones on. Loud and heavy. I makes me feel good again.
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I can’t relate to music being work like you do, but I can’t listen to music when I’m working. My brain wants to pay attention to the lyrics and the beat. I can only work in silence or with white noise on. Guess I’m a little different too.
All the best, Michelle (michellesclutterbox.com)
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Hmm… maybe you’d relax more to “classical” music? No words, so less to think about.
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It gets to the point where Jazz and Lofi music seems less of a headache than regular tunes because there’s no lyrics majority of the time lol. In this era of digital streaming, I miss the days of getting a CD from Tower Records, unwrapping it, and having a session while I look through the booklet. Good times :).
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Interesting. And now that I think about it, I think I’m both ways about music at various times.
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ULTiMaTE Mastery
Of Life Is Turning
Off Thoughts
At Will
(Through
Bio-Feed-Back
In Regulation of
Emotions And Integration
Of Senses That Firstly
Drive All Our Thoughts
Secondary As Science
Now Empirically
Shows Practice
Of A Meditative
Free Dance
With No
Lessons
Will Surely
Do As Lifelong Practice)
And Simply
FLYinG FRiEnDS
With Gravity
Then
Dance
Births
Song Not
The Reverse…
It’s Not Just
You Every
Modern
‘Advanced’
CuLTuRE
Is DeSiGNeD
THis ‘Left Brain’
By Metaphor Way
Likely
Unwittingly
To Prevent
Our Cocoons
From Sprouting
Wings Harder
To Catch
Butterflies
Without A (Net)
Hmm Ask Yourself
WHere You
(Clue More
Limited Within
To Abstract
Constructs
Neo-Cortically
More Limited
Away From
The Other
95 Percent of Mind
Longer Older Evolved
2 Of 3 Triune Brains
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And Limbic
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Are
A
Dance
Comes First Then Song
Hehe And No i Do not
Expect You to
‘Grab A
Pebble
From my Hand
As A Grasshopper’
To See This That is
Only Fiction
An
Old
Show Called
‘Kung Fu’ NonE
Of That For me Only Fred Fu 🥷
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I know I know I know! But there’s also a point where I’ve been through all that and know the music so well that it can take me higher… At work, though, I can’t handle music at the same time, it’s too distracting…🤪…
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Lol, I guess we’re alike in the aspect of going into research mod. I do the same for my movies/series, too. But after a while, I enjoy it. You should try listening to Enya or Ludovico Einaudi.
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I do very much appreciate Ludovico indeed. But that’s because I already did a lot of my research there XD
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Very well, Zoe. 😉
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For me, it can go both ways. If I’m listening to music I am familiar with and enjoy, it’s very relaxing. But when it comes to new music, or new covers of old songs, I am more like you in that my curiosity takes over and I find myself googling stuff ad nauseam, following all the threads.
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I had to laugh. You’re so on point about Googling the lyrics. I’m older than you and probably a bit more entrenched in my musical tastes, but I find anymore that my relationship is much more complex . . . I think of how does it make me feel? How does the rhythm/beat hit me? What’s the artist trying to say? What do I think of the artist’s past work? I’m sure I make it much more complex than it really needs to be. Glad to know I’m not alone.
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For me, music is a portal into an alternative reality where I feel most like the true me. It can be relaxing, but also fun and intriguing.
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That’s such a beautiful description. I wish music was like that for me now 😦
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I totally agree with you. I’ve never viewed it like that but I get you, one hundred percent
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Totally agree with you
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I’ll never understand, or at least experience the concept of “background music’. No matter what, when music is playing, it races to the forefront of my brain and that of course becomes a source of trouble when someone is trying to have a conversation with me, or want my attention in any way. My brain dissects music to death and the medium itself is unquestionably an addiction to me. Had I been born deaf, I’d be a rich man having not spent so much on my CD collection, instruments, etc.
Great article!
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As many things as I can take away or say about this post, the only thing that I can talk about is how frustrating I remember cassettes were.
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