In short!

It’s official. I’m turning into one of those porch hag old bitter ladies. You know the type, sitting in their rocker, looking out over their tiny front yard and angrily shaking their fist at the youngsters passing by al raucously, skirting too close to her gardenias.

Now, with my talent for killing flowers I obviously won’t have gardenias, but I’m starting to really get the hang of the excessively angry bitterness for no apparent reason. I should get to work on a quilt to put over my old rickety legs. But I can’t sow either. Dammit.

Him:Hey Z.!

Right there. Right then. Instantly done. Two words. Or well. One word or a letter was all it took for him to instantly get discarded to the bin of ‘nopes!’

I mean, I gettit. I really do. We all stem from the era of Madonna being shortened to Madge. Rihanna turning into Ri-ri. J-Lo. X-tina. And JB really turned us around. We’ve lived in the worlds of Brangelina, Tomkat, Kimye and the likes. Messing with names just for convenience and parlor tricks is a thing. Apparently. And though I’ve definitely been guilty of using shorts every now and then – you don’t know what it’s like to see my name reduced to one single letter.

My entire life has been lived in a world who conveniently slash out most of my name already. Which is fine, seeing as being called ‘Zoë-Amber’ takes me straight back to a childhood where full-name-use instantly indicated ‘I’m in TROUBLE!’. People calling me Zoë is my preferred tag (although I respond equally well to my gamertag Linqy, or Amber, or any other variation of the two).

But in the end -> my name is Zoë-Amber. And even though I spent a large part of my childhood cursing the ‘specialness’, these days I appreciate it all the more. It’s much easier to be remembered if you’re not one of the three (or four) letterclub. Suck it Anna. Max. Kim. Tara. Suck it!

So when you have the audacity to swipe me right on Tinder and then butcher my name to a single Z. without even knowing anything about me? You’re out. I’ll mourn the loss with a glass of extra bitter lemonade on my porch, an old and very single young lady, shaking my fist at the single-letter-couples out there.

Rant over.

36 thoughts on “In short!

  1. Bitter lady , well maybe, but old is never a word i would associate with you when I think about you or see your latest post, in my eyes your still young , beautiful and intelligent, a independent woman who knows how to speak her mind, its always a joy to read your posts when i see them, you always bring a smile to my face ❤

    Like

  2. Boy do I agree with you, I hate it when people shorten my name. Especially when I am quite clear when I meet people what my name is and then they immediately shorten it. The worst is when they make you feel like you are being bitchy about it or childish. Stand your ground! haha

    Like

  3. I can relate. I grit my teeth everytime I introduce myself as Michael, only to have the person put out their hand to shake and say, “Hi Mike!”

    It’s amazing how I have any teeth left. Or that I’m not in jail for strangling some poor idiot soul to death.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yep it’s Like
    Poetry That

    Melts Your
    HeART Reel

    Ya In
    To Love’s

    Lair
    And Leave
    Ya Hi And
    Dry

    With
    Just An
    Emoji And Nude ‘Pic’

    Swipe
    Left
    Swipe
    Right

    Indeed
    Shallow
    One Emoji
    Abbreviated
    Soul File The

    Pic
    In A
    Monkey
    Bank Sold

    To Highest

    BidderS

    Swipe

    Left

    Swipe Right

    My God Amber

    Zoe Is Such

    A Beautiful

    Name

    Never

    Staining

    A Touch

    Now Of

    Moonlit Wine

    True Dudes Don’t

    Understand How

    Much Pleasure

    How Many Colors

    Even 50

    Shades

    Of Grey

    Will

    Bring

    With No

    Pics Yet

    The Organ

    Above Throbs

    For Release

    Of

    Sunshine

    Soul Below

    Springing

    Butterfly

    Wings

    Oh Sweet Release

    Summer Winter’s

    Beach

    Behind

    Dunes to ‘See’

    Wild Flowers

    So

    Amber

    Beautiful

    To Breathe

    Now To

    Be

    Clear

    This is

    Only Rhetoric

    i BREaTHE SEnding

    To All Other

    Audiences

    To Teach

    Male

    Incels

    To Touch

    More Than

    A Nude Pic Sings🎼🦋💫

    Look At it This Way

    As So Many

    Just

    Do It

    Who Is The

    Real Father And

    Mother Originating

    ‘The Child’… Elton John

    And His Love Songs

    Just For ‘You’

    Married

    To

    The

    Author

    Of ‘50 Shades

    Of Grey’ True

    Not All Musical

    Instruments

    That

    Create

    Life From

    “Big Bang
    Explosions” Are
    “Organs”

    Oh

    How

    Great Art Thou

    Pen is To Birth Breath

    Mighty Organ

    To Play A Pen is

    Still Breathing

    Now No Time No

    Distance No

    Space

    No

    Matter

    No Human

    Body At All

    Hehe No

    Wonder

    ‘They’

    Say Words

    Are Nature of Creation

    An ‘Invisible God’

    Soul Embers Left

    Over Now Still

    To BREaTHE Amber

    Yes “Z” Dear Some Touch

    Shallow Others Do IT Deeper 🌊

    How Deep is the

    Love More

    Than Even

    Just A Feeling

    When You Really

    Work For

    The

    Meal

    And You

    Are Really

    Starving

    For

    It

    Every

    Bite

    Even

    Nibble

    Is Truly Heaven

    Even Without A Touch

    As Feathers Need not

    See

    The

    Wind To

    FLoaT Endlessly 😜

    In Breeze of Hot Nirvana🔥🥶🔥

    Major League Baseball

    Players Cover

    All

    Bases

    Hit Home

    Runs

    Without

    Even Touching

    Home Base Small

    Or Large As A Pen is

    Still To Come

    Swinging

    A Mighty Bat
    To Feel So Deep

    Where It All
    Comes Together
    No Lessons Just DIY…🥶🔥😜

    Like An Art of
    Edging A Dance

    And Song

    Close
    To A Cliff

    Not

    Falling

    Off A

    Precipice of Heaven

    Or HAha Getting Kicked off 🦟🦋
    Swipe Left Swipe Right

    Not

    All

    Dudes

    Create Equal🌊🎼

    Trivia Note: When

    My Mother First

    Saw The Rugged

    Half Shaven Black

    Haired Law Enforcement

    Man She

    Called

    Green Eyes

    In The Court House

    Working As A Clerk

    Typist Yes Voted Having

    The Best Figure in

    11th And 12th

    Grade Marilyn Monroe

    Would Have Been

    Jealous Fairest

    Skin My Father’s
    Mother Said She
    Ever Saw Just
    Dripping With
    Fertility of Estrogen

    My Mother Thought
    That Is The Best Looking
    Man She Ever Saw Who
    Ever Is Married to

    Him Must be
    The Luckiest

    Woman

    oF All To make
    A Long Story
    Shorter

    He Didn’t Say
    A Word And

    Left

    After

    3 Years
    Easy For Him
    To Look at The
    Secretaries With
    Those Green Eyes
    To Do All His Paperwork

    ‘The Child’ (me)
    The Weak Ugly

    Duckling
    Had to

    Learn
    To Dance
    And Sing
    Even To

    Taste

    One Nibble

    Of A HeART

    Song in Return

    Those Who Fall
    Early Rise Higher…

    To
    Never
    Ending
    SpringS🍃🌲

    Love’s Water Wave
    Ocean Whole BRinGS🌊💫

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh boy, another post with names…

    I had a teacher in high school who always took roll out loud, and he always pronounced my last name wrong. (Dennison is not my real last name; my real last name is one letter off from another common last name pronounced with a different vowel sound.) Two years later I had the same teacher for another class, and instead of always risking getting my name wrong, he just called me “Big G.” (I didn’t mind, I thought it was funny. And I’m about 6 feet 4 inches/190cm, so the “big” part fits.)

    I honestly think Zoë-Amber is a cool name. See, I like it enough that I even went in and put the umlaut even though I’m typing on a Windows PC and I had to open the Character Map. But it’s interesting that I should say that, because I briefly dated someone who had two first names (hers technically was her first and middle name, not hyphenated, but her friends who introduced us used it as a double name as if it were hyphenated) and given the way that turned out, one would think I would have sworn off all girls with double first names again. But I just think it sounds better that way. At that time, she was trying to switch over to going by her initials instead, but most of our mutual friends still called her by both names. And initials are weird, because some names as initials sound better than others. “AJ” and “JR” are cool names. “CW” and “HN” are not.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. How about new tag;
    Zoe Hell on Wheels:
    who knows who would come out of the wood work then.. on second thought…..hey,not sure you saw my Heaven and Hell post on
    Fri-Yay funday( W.P.) hell posted yesterday and said 2 days ago.. you’ll love it i think. lmk

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Z hardly seems enough. It’s not as if the names you go by are long or complicated.

    I go by Christopher, which admittedly is long. Even so, I’m saddened when others use the nickname, even when I haven’t used it in our introductions to each other.

    Sigh. I guess I’ll need a porch, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. CHRISADELLA here…. and I feel you! I usually go by Chrissy and most call me Christy initially and I always correct them (“No T!”) because your name is something people should absolutely get right! It’s the first thing someone learns about you! 😌

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Heh. It takes a lot for me to overcome my irritation at anyone who calls me Sue. It’s Sue Ann. I introduce myself as such. I sign my email that way. I also wrote a blog rant about that a while back! Suna is my alternative name. That’s fine. I want my two syllables.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. So I started reading your posts because I noticed you had so many followers, and in your post you mention it was in a very short amount of time. I wondered what made your site so interesting to others, and I figured it out. Your posts are witty, alive, and, for lack of a better word, interesting. I am really enjoying checking out your site and all that you have to offer. Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

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