Missing the McNoms!

Do you know what I miss most since we’ve been in various degrees of lockdown ‘round here in the Netherlands?
It’s not human interaction. It’s not physical contact. It’s not being able to go wherever, whenever and not worry about witnessing people stir up trouble over something so simple as wearing a mask.

Nope.
I’m a simple soul. I crave simple things. And what I miss most is not something intangible or spiritual or emotional at all.
Nope.

It’s McDonalds.

I miss the taste of salty French fries and crunchy McNuggets drenched in copious amounts of sweet-and-sour sauce. Miss the wilted lettuce and buns that melt on your tongue. Miss the brainfreeze that inevitably comes with binging McFlurries and I miss the feeling of ‘OMFG I’M SO FULL’ followed by the ‘I could totally eat’ sentiment only an hour later. I have always been a fast-food addict – with MickeyD being firmly put at the top of my worship list. So yeah.

I miss McDonalds.

And that’s kind of stupid since they’re not actually closed or anything, but the closest one to my house in a 25 minute drive away and I’ve never been one of those American types that is chilling at home and then leaves the house ONLY to go get McDonalds.

Nope some more.
McDonalds is a guilty passerby pleasure for me. Something to grab on the way home from work, knowing full well there’s food in the house to make a decent dinner with. Something to binge after a softball match ‘since you burned all these calories anyway’. Somewhere to stop after a night out, or on the way back from a friends house when they numerous drinks just deserve a fatty chaser.

You don’t ‘go out’ just to get McDonalds. You just squint your eyes while on the driveway hoping for a sign that you should pull-off and put something bad in your body. An actual sign, yaknow. A huge, big, flashy M. And lucky for me – I always manage to find one before I turn towards home, when needed.

But my wallet-app now tells me that the last time I ordered at McDonalds was in September!
SEP-TEM-BER. That’s four months ago. FOUR months. The 16th of September. To be exact. Which – coincidentally is two days before my final..yaknow…winkwinknudgenudge.

Maybe someone should start some research to the effects of not-having-McDonalds on sexual appetite. The two might totally be connected. Who knows – maybe there’s humpy hormones in the excessive salt they ditch on those fries. I wouldn’t even be surprised.

No McDonalds and no sex – for almost 4 months. COVID what are you doing to me. It’s like this madness stole my two favorite things in the world away and replaced them with responsible work-behavior-since-I’m-near-the-computer-anyway and couch-potato-ing. Believe me. That’s bad. That’s just. Bad. The only potato-ness that IS acceptable is the fried variety. Not this me-being-in-stasis on my pillows.

So in order to remedy this fact – it would make sense that I’d just take the car and get this dreadful black void in my life filled with EVERYTHING on the McMenu. But I find myself unwilling to do even that – since I made the mistake of printing out my resolutions and hanging them next to my work-screen so I can ponder them as I sit here thinking of making bad decisions. Damn it.

But I’m just getting it out there. I miss McDonalds. A good reason to drive by one might appear if the universe is eavesdropping (as I already suspect it is!). And if you’re on the road – the calories don’t count. Right?

38 thoughts on “Missing the McNoms!

  1. I love this post.I miss all the McNormal stuff too. I went to the doctor this morning. I miss the days when you could walk into a medical facility without sitting in a car, phoning in to the office, answering 100 COVID questions, and waiting to be granted permission to come inside.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You have your research that you want to do, but I’d like to know why I’ve seen it do wonders for headaches. Perhaps the cure for COVID is at Mickey D’s and we don’t know it yet!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The headache thing should be easy enough to explain – a lot of my headaches are related to low bloodsugar. Fatty sugary carby food = less headaches XD

      But yes. Yes. I would definitely like a McSnack more than a vaccine shot 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I miss the little things that we used to take for granted. Being preggers and feeling gross, I have zero sex drive. My husband isn’t too happy about it but everything downstairs is painful. EVERYTHING. I don’t want him touching me.

    I didn’t like MCDs until I met my husband. Now it’s my favorite fast food place, given the choice. I can’t be bothered to get food delivered to my door and I’m not going to walk the icy streets of doom, so no MCDs for me either.

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  4. America has had a few great inventions over the past fifty-some years: the space shuttle, the personal computer, video game consoles, and the cellphone to name a few. In the middle of a global pandemic, though, what is it that we miss the most: good old-fashioned fast food. You miss McDonald’s, I find that I’m missing Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches and waffle fries. I must say I’m surprised how much I miss fast food. I could certainly get up and go out and get it . . . but it’s not the same. However, I’m thinking that a special trip might be in order. Now if we could just come up with a cure for this damn virus!! Stay safe. 😄

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  5. “I’ve never been one of those American types that is chilling at home and then leaves the house ONLY to go get McDonalds.”

    You should try being like that. It’s a pretty awesome way to live. ‘MERICA!!! 😛

    Also, it’s cute the way you normal people think three and a half months is a long time to go without sex.

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  6. During our lockdown here I kept on getting cravings for KFC, which I seldom eat anyway. Since lockdown ended I’ve had it once… I haven’t had sex for several years now, though I think I’m becoming asexual.

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  7. Hi ZoewieZoe,
    I feel your pain. One of my favorite guilty pleasures is Culver’s custard. They are a burger chain concentrated in the US Midwest. My sweet tooth has led me to many ice cream establishments, but Culvers wins it for me. Unfortunately, I’m about 600 miles from the nearest store.
    You recently liked an article I posted on Little Old Lady comedy (NAME THAT STENCH: My Family’s Epic Minivan Game). Thanks.
    If you liked that, you’ll love the other ludicrous, non-political humor on my blog, RandomThoughtsFromtheManCave.com. One post I’m sure you’ll love is: AN EMOTINAL GOODBYE TO MY MECHANICAL MISTRESS, THE FAMILY MINIVAN.
    Stay Well,
    Kevin

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  8. For those of us who live alone and those of us who are elderly and live alone this covid-19 it has really hurt us I am well stocked for food and water and necessities but I had gained so much weight sitting here watching TV and crocheting I’ve got enough blankets do you open a store. I’m not a fan of wearing masks so there’s not too many places I go simply because I’m not going to fight with people over this Dan issue I will be 70 years old and 4 months I took my flu shot in September and other than that that is the only preventive vaccine this is going in my body. I’ve had one covid-19 and that was forced on me because I had a sinus infection and they would not treat me for that until they tested me for. That was painful as hell and I refuse to go through that again. I’d outlived all my siblings and two ex-husbands. Not going to let something like a covid-19 scare me. If you’re wearing a mask then you should feel safer than me even though I’m not wearing one. I feel like I shouldn’t have to wear a diaper on my face

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