My entire house smells of lavender right now.
Which, seeing as it is widely regarded as a pleasant flowery fragrance, shouldn’t normally be too weird of a thing I guess. Unless you know me a little bit better and hence also know that my most HATED scent in the world is lavender. It’s gagworthy to me. Nosecrinkling. Eyesquinting. GAH. GROSS. YUCK to my already sensitive sense of smell. There is nothing I dislike smelling more than lavender when it comes to things-that-supposedly-smell-nice.
Why then, you might wonder, does my entire house smell of it?
Well folks. That’s because I’m a clumsy fool.
Last week I purchased one of those little glass jar thingies with the scent sticks that are supposed to make the house smell all homely. It said tropical flowers on the package, which led me to believe that I’d be getting a tropically scent. Not lavender. Now. Whether they accidentally packed the wrong thing, or my perception of the word ‘tropical’ is very different to that of the jar-thingie-makers doesn’t really matter. But as soon as I opened the packaging and got a whiff of the strong as fuck lavender, I almost barfed.
Which, obviously, led to me making my way to the kitchen to dispose of the offending product. Sadly, I didn’t make it there, as I tripped over a stray charger cable and smashed…the…jar. Over the entirety of my living room floor. That now smells SO FUCKING STRONGLY of lavender that I can barely stand to be IN the room. But seeing as it’s where my workstation is, my TV lives AND my kitchen is connected to – I’m fucked. Because I’m already pretty much freezing after opening alllll of the doors in hopes of lessening the scent. To no avail.
This. This is possibly my worst nightmare from now on. Forced to live in a house that smells like the worst thing there is. I don’t even know how I’m going to survive.
Me – the girl who is as smell-obsessed as that one bloodhound in the Disney Movie Aristocats. Who actually one time started dating a colleague at the McDonalds she worked at because he was wearing my favorite cologne. Me, who once stopped dating a guy because he had the worrrrrrst of the worst of morning breaths and wore sweaters that smelt of cigarette smoke. Me – the girl that would rather be deaf than unable to smell things. Stuck in lavender hell. FML.
I bet if I was an American I could sue the company for my suffering. Damn.