Tinder Tales – Darn those algorithms!

These days I’m taking a very business-like approach to online dating. Currently, to me, it’s much like household-work, or administrative work or obligatory family visits. A chore. Something that has to be done. A box to tick on the to-do list of the day. ‘Swipe right on (at least) three guys‘.

And I do that just for the sake of swiping, not because I’m actually expecting (or hoping) that something comes out of it. Can’t even honestly say I am having any fun doing it. Those apps hate me as much as I hate them. I even downgraded from ‘get one match a day‘ to the swipe deal for the simple fact that I don’t….yaknow….get matches that easily. Keeping up that bargain would mean a LOT of hours swiping. Painful (because being a girl is supposed to be like playing Tinder on easy mode, they say)!

I call this approach business-like because, in the world of online dating, much like in the professional world, visibility and actuality is vitally important to your success. If you don’t update your LinkedIn and resume regularly (like seriously, every six months or so, EVEN if you’re happy where you’re at) or don’t make sure that your different media are linked correctly – you’re going to be out in the cold when the day comes around that you need to be found by that fancy new employer. And the same, as I figure, goes for ‘that special someone‘.

I might not be looking as of right now, but if I wanna stand a chance when I finally do get to that point – I gotta have put the work in to be able to make it happen (or at least, that’s how I’m treating it). Especially now with COVID-19 and the ‘putting yourself out there‘ in the real world being placed firmly on hold – THE (only) way to ‘find or be found‘ is there. Online. On the apps of doom.

Apps like Tinder and Bumble and Badoo and OKcupid (I don’t use all of them, don’t worry) all work on the same basic principle: actively using the app = increased frequency of showing up in other peoples line-ups. So your visibility and chances of a match are tightly bound to how often you use the app. Just installing the thing and hoping for the matches to pile up when you casually swipe 5 minutes every other week is NOT the key to Tinderland. So I swipe. Every day. For however long it takes me to swipe right three times (which, with my insane checklists and general pickiness, takes quite a bit of time, actually!). Simply to keep myself ‘relevant‘ to those damn algorithms. Slave to the rhythm.

Because no matter how much you hate or appreciate it: Tinder is THE classic app these days to see and be seen, you know how it goes. It’s not just promenading the boulevard and basketball courts as Will Smith does it anymore, with everyone being a sudden masked ‘risk‘. Ya almost gotta do the online thing if ya wanna get somewhere. Hell. People are (so I’ve been told) even doing their preliminary dating via FaceTime, Skype and Zoom these days. That’s some next level insane shit that I’ve definitely not dared commit to. I’d fall flat on cam, I just know it. Not my style.

So I just swipe. Right. Three times a day. To stay relevant – because with these algorithms forcing you to action – apparently dating these days is becoming an actual side-hustle. An extra job. More goals and deadlines to reach (because god, I’m getting old fast so I best hurry it up, right?). And I DO have to be the best at any job I take, regardless of the damn algorithms. THEY SHALL BE BEATEN!
Swipeswipeswipe


Up for some more Tinder Tales?
Keep reading:

Tinder Tales – Picture Perfect
Tinder Tales – Virtually Unique
Tinder Tales – Why ARE we here?
Tinder Tales – Darn those algorithms!

Tinder Tales – Anal.
Tinder Tales – Picky

Tinder Tales – But what does it mean?!
Tinder Tales – The curious case of the neckbeard

17 thoughts on “Tinder Tales – Darn those algorithms!

  1. Haha. I feel you and I understand.

    “That’s some next level insane shit that I’ve definitely not dared commit to. I’d fall flat on cam, I just know it. Not my style.”

    Good luck out there.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s All Revenge of the
    ‘Nerds’ All oF it
    Systemizing
    Everything
    Into
    A Mechanical
    Cognition Game…
    Oh no! ‘The Matrix’
    Plugged in All
    Avatars now
    In An
    Algorithm
    World of ‘Their’
    Own Design
    Masters
    oF All
    WHere
    Even Love
    Life is Swipe
    Left or Right
    In Bits and
    It
    All
    Bites
    But that’s
    What ‘They’
    Get For Making
    Fun of the ‘Math Kid’
    As Now He Even ‘Rules’
    Love With
    Swipe
    Left Right
    Master the
    Tool or the Other..:)

    -It’s Not
    Working

    It Never Will…

    -Human

    Like

  3. That’s actually brilliant. I never would have thought to fool the algorithms in social medica that way. There was a great TED Talk a while back about a woman who hacked her way to finding the perfect mate. Dating sounds fun to those of us not doing it but that’s only because we remember the good times and not the work and heartbreak.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m glad I grew up in the day where a set of eyes looking at you, or a smile and laugh, or a scent of perfume and sweet hello or a look would be a great start to a possible date. They all didn’t work out but one did 40 years ago for me and I hope you find that special one. Sometimes good things come along without apps.

    Like

  5. I appreciate what you said about the video date thing. I would resent that whole thing. I think I present quite well in person, but I usually look terrible on video and it’s weird. I bet a lot of people feel that way.

    Like

  6. I found myself sitting on the couch eating dinner and I really thought I paused my Bumble account, but I didn’t so I started looking at the app and going thru it again…why?? Bored? Habit? I need to delete the darn thing. I’ve never tried Tinder because of the bad rep it’s been given.

    Video dates are a must these days. I skipped some steps because I got lazy so that probably just wasted time, gas and created more awkwardness. Why do we do this to ourselves?

    Like

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