Changing the unchangeable.

Oftentimes I find myself wondering if I could be something I’m currently not.
If I put my mind to it.
If I could be a different me than I currently am, or become what I never was.
If I tried my hand at it.

Really. Really. Change. You know what I mean?

Not that I wonder if I could become a meerkat scaling a tiny tree out in a desert-y field somewhere, or a seagull soaring over foamy seas (those would both be very inconvenient with my fear of heights. Although, I suppose, if I were to be different I would probably also discard my phobias while I was at it).
I don’t imagine I’d be a tree swaying in the breeze, or a sturdy staircase in a creaking house either. And I’m not particularly interested in becoming an American in an evermore crazy world of chaos, or that one weird Asian who ate that first bat that thrust the world into this pandemic.
Nor would I want to become a dude-bro skaterfella with an obsession for army backpacks with smiley-buttons and vanilla-scented blunts as opposed to the chickadee that I now see in the mirror.

But I do wonder if I could be different.
Turn my life around, on a whim. Completely and entirely. Re-invent myself and then create a successful, working prototype of that invention.

The changes about myself that I imagine I’d make are not exactly life-altering on the grand scheme of things, but would at the same time change my life entirely regardless. If you can still follow. No transformations from human to beast or inanimate objects, but transformations none the less.

I wonder if I could be less uptight in the areas that hold me back. And more uptight in the areas that cost me chances. If I could be easier in the things that make me complex and whether I could find more depth where I’m obviously shallow.
There’s moments that I’d like to know whether I could love more deeply and moments that I’d like to someday love less easily. Occasions where I feel like I’d be better off wanting different things and working towards other goals and those where I’d want my brain to function on a different level altogether. Where I don’t just do these things because I actively choose to, but where I change enough for them to be an intrinsic part of me, instead of those qualities I consider to be ‘me’ now.

Don’t get me wrong. Overall I’m not saying that I’d actually want to, if it turns out that I could. It’s just that I wanna know if it is an actual option.

I just wonder. How much possibility for change is there, really.

Because, the way I see it, we humans are actually a pretty solid, unchanging creature, on the whole. No matter how much we feel that we’ve perfected evolution to allow us to adapt at will.
I’ve tried to break habits before and I’ve tried to alter my views of the world. I’ve attempted to be open-minded and I’ve definitely given self-improvement a go. But real change? Not a success so far. In the end I’m always still a version of the me I’ve always been.

So I wonder.
Could I?
Or is that thought of change being a possibility merely a wish and illusion that we feed ourselves – that we COULD change if we wanted to. But don’t, because we’re happy (enough) where we are…

Can you change something which, at it’s core, is unchangeable.
Are we who we are from the get-go, or are we flexible shells until we aren’t?
I wonder.

38 thoughts on “Changing the unchangeable.

      1. You surely did!

        Keep writing them and one day … a man will knock on your door, and ‘repay’ you for all this beauty with a precious sparkler just for you!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. What a reflective post! I think you can always change until you don’t have the time to, but some changes take more time than others. I don’t think you can become someone knew soon; it takes an extended period of time like an evolution. If it happened fast it would be more like an act than an actual change. However, maybe acting is the first step toward the evolution. And as you act you start to become. You bring up lots of good thoughts with this post. I think changing completely is possible, and yet we’ll always have traces of our old selves. You can’t really shuck recollections, and that is, in part, what makes us who we are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hmmm – but then, is it truly change or just (temporary) adaptation…
      I mean…I can decide to become a vegetarian tomorrow if need be, but I wouldn’t say I’d truly changed as I’d force the conviction on myself instead of feel that as a true part of myself. I’d adapt, but not change. It feels like there’s a difference there, to me. Somehow!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. There are at least two versions of me scuttling about at the moment, both very different… and they’re both experiencing a whole new lease of life…
    so when I look in the mirror…

    Not sure whether I should say anymore, or simply leave this sentence hanging like an unebriated sea slug in a rock pool.

    I did drink a little (🙄) this weekend, so that might have something to do with it.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. An extremely thought provoking post. Our brains are actually wired for survival and resist any change we want to make. If you can overcome this “survival mode” and expand your comfort zone, then I believe you can create permanent change.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I think the answer lies (tongue in cheek) in the old joke: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? – One but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to really want to change.
    In other words, you can, but it’s neither quick nor easy.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. It depends on what you want to change and why. And isn’t personal growth change? I’ve seen people move a thousand miles away and leave everything behind only to find that the “new” them has the same problems they used to have. It is possible to change but it has to be deep inside of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is an excellent post. I’m wondering about the very same things that you are, except I’m much farther down the line in terms of age. I’ve done decades of meditation to be a better person and to inject more peace, love, and joy into myself and others. Perhaps the changes are subtle and hard to notice.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. E P i G e N e T i C S
    Ever New Step
    And Word
    A New Dance
    And Song in
    To Boot Camps
    We Create New
    NoW Or
    Still Remain
    So How Will
    ‘You’ Stretch
    Just to Literally
    Dance in Reverse
    And See A Whole
    New World
    Out of
    Anew See Be🖼🤡

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Really, really interesting… To protect myself from further harsh judgement, I would like to say there are things in our being we just can’t change. You can’t turn a draft horse into a race horse or a jumping horse, or vice versa. All kinds of wirings make us who we are. A little bit of reprogramming should be possible, a little adaptation, but… I don’t think I will ever be able to accept injustice. Or unsee something. Or stop thinking about solving problems. That just part of my wiring. I hope. Or else, I might just turn out to be too lazy to change what I want to. Aargh…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It seems to me change is a fundamental. No two days are the same. We don’t just survive we grow, develop and adapt all the time.
    The question then is do you want to engage consciously with change? Do you want to be an active player, a co-creator of your life?
    Or do you want just go with the flow?
    I don’t think you need judge one good and the other bad, and actually we do both pretty much every day anyway.
    I also think it’s harder to break free of habits than it is to make new ones!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. A truly excellent post Zoe – provocative, evoking and inspiring – you can of course be who you want to be, you can be anything you wish to be – you can cure your depressions, beat yourself out of the dundrums and motivate yourself into whatever you want to be ………… it’s always about believing in you first and foremost then finding the people who’ll support you and make it happen and by this l don’t mean leaning on them, but taking the gift of enthusiasm and motivation they offer you – take it, use it, strengthen yourself and your belief.


  11. why is there resistance to change, even when evidence reveals a change is needed for thy very own self?
    Next, I proposed just like a planted seed, is the desire for change. it has to be water and nurtured and even the ground has to be ready. Yet a flower does not sprout overnight.
    good conversational and discussion post.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. You can get cosmetic surgery and change your whole look, you can even change your sex etc. Ultimately there are multiple you’s. The one you see yourself as and the various ones other people see you as. You would have to decide which version of you to change first!


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