Lists have always played a big big role in my life. Mostly because I like the level of organization that they bring into the mix (and because they are, like myself, very goal-oriented) but also because they provide a (false) sense of safety. I mean, you can’t go wrong if you’re following the list, right.
Well. True. Assuming that your list is correct, that is. And boy, I do like me some safety. Fuck spontaneity, lists are da bomb.
Whether it’s groceries, work to-do lists or just compendiums of the series and movies that I watched, or worse – the men in my life – I keep lists. Of everything.
But as a blogger?
As a blogger I am listless.
Not the ‘I can’t deal with life right now’-kind of listless. But just…without lists.
Something that I feel an urge to explain, for future reference:
Because this adoration of lists, as a blogger, can become a dangerous occupation. Why, you might wonder?
Lists…can make you lose your blog to the rest of the blogging world. ‘WHAT?! BLOGTHEFTS?!?!’ I hear you think. But it’s not THAT dramatic (yet).
Regardless, let me enlighten you (if you’re not of the blogging persuasion) or enrich you (if you are, but hadn’t noticed) on the vile threat of lists.
Lists. Are. A. Blogging. Addiction.
The whole of the ‘blogosphere’ (that’s hip blogger lingo for ‘everything in the world of blogs’) builds its foundation of lists. They’re convenient, easy to fill, even easier to read and pleasant to the eye. They’re structured, filled with information (sort of. I guess. Sometimes.) and grab the attention. And people just go hard on ‘knowing things’. At least. That’s what all of the posts in my feed suggest.
Plus, you’ll never have to think of a topic to write about if they’re niftily provided for you. Because god forbid you’d have to create your own content from the top of your brain, right?
Now. Don’t get me wrong. This is not meant to judge all of you list-addicts. It’s a sickness. I get it. Once you start you can never go back to being listless. But I might rescue some of you before it’s too late. I might help some of you understand why I like to write what I LIKE and that suits ME, instead of what is demanded by the Bloggiverse (another hip lingo term ya’ll!)
There’s not just the every-day-of-the-week ‘tags’ lists that rile up the crowds. No Sirry. Sure. They’re very convenient in a way if you like patterns.
You’ll start your Monday off with some (and I mean a whole fucking boatload) of Monday Motivation or MondayBlues (depending on your pessimism/optimism balance, I suppose), or maybe some MondayMarketing if you’re business minded.
Find yourself some TuesdayTips or partake in TrendyTuesday. To move onto WWWednesday if you’re a book fanatic or the break-the-week #Humpday (where humping is apparently just a Wednesday thing).
Then it’s obviously time for ThankfulThursday or Thursdayfursday if your four legged pals need some attention. Before you know it it’s #Friyay for the party people or time for FirstLineFriday for the bookish nerds and of course the weekend is filled with SillySaturday posts and SaturdaySelfies. Gotta share that weekend house-suit with the peeps. Don’t forget about SundaySweat for the sportsfanatics who don’t lounge around in the weekends. Unless you’re more into SundayFunday.
Anyway. You catch my drift. There’s lists for every friggin day in the week, if you’re so inclined (which – as you can see from the non-day-bound titles of my blogs…I am not). Plus tags for every topic in the world. The Harry Potter Craze Tag. The What did you read tag. Writings prompts. Poetry tags. And well, I wouldn’t even be able to compose a list of all the tags there are to list! It’s insane.
But –Billie Mays voice– There’s more folks!!!
God. ‘We’ bloggers have a LOT of feathers to stick up a LOT of asses if we feel like it. There’s awards for every fart in the book, and most of them include drawing (at least) 5 others bloggers down with you into the listy madness. They’re called ‘awards’ (and I remember my excitement at 17 when I won my first ever ‘Sunshine Blogger award -> yes, it’s been around THAT long) but are no more than just a complicated pat-on-the-back game of tag in the blogging world. WITH an additional ’206 facts about yourself’ or questions to be answered so your bloggers know exactly who they’re dealing with. Awards are a lot of work, ya’ll!
There’s the Inspiring Bloggers Tag and the more prestigious (but not really) VERY Inspiring Blogger Award. The Sunshine Blogger Award. Beautiful Blogger Award. Liebster Awards. The Great Achiever Blogger Award. The Mystery Blogger Award. And you’ll probably believe me when I say there’s about 42375 other options out there.
THERE’S STILL MORE!
(Billie Mays ain’t got nothing on me)
I bet you’ve always wanted to know THE 5 best ways to stay productive. Or the 6 to achieve full life’s happiness. How about the top ten tips to get that prince on the white horse? Or the best three breakup lines when you’re done with him?
When it comes to blogging – there’s (apparently) nothing more catchy than compiling a <10 item list for becoming a better person than you ever thought you would be. And if you can’t think of a list yourself yet, there’s at least 93756 blogs around to teach you the 5 best ways to generate content ideas. And the 12 best ways to generate traffic. And should you feel lonely there’s definitely 23 foolproof ways to quickly gain a lot of followers. Because those who can’t…teach. Apparently. Also in the land of blogging.
And to be fair. Who WOULDN’T want to know the 8 totally proven flawless ways to eat broccoli through a straw while doing pushups in an upside down handstand against a freshly macramé-d wall?! It’s a MUST-HAVE.
ANYWAY – I think you catch my drift by now, right?
When you start up as a blogger, especially when you’re new, or still searching for your niche, or just looking to make a quick buck with as many followers in as little time as possible. Or if you’re out there trying to ‘connect’ and need validation in bulk. Or if your creativity is not yet up to par with your drive to produce daily blogs because you HAVE to post daily for some internal reason or other… I gettit. I truly do.
Lists. Are. Awesome.
But I can’t. I won’t. I will not fall for the addiction.
My blog will be mine, and mine alone. To bare my soul in the way I see fit, instead of opening my book to the pages the rest of Blogtopia (HOW MUCH LINGO IS THERE?!) requests.
So I thank you for all the awards you’re tagging me in. And the recognition you permit me by remembering my name in them. I thank you for all the wisdom in your helpful tutorials and inspiring lists and the funny answers to all of the weird as fuck tags that there are.
But I’ma take a pass on this particular craze. I’ll just write whatever comes to my mind, instead of answer to what’s on yours!
Even if you’re lurking. Even if you’re just reading along. Even if you click these links just because the Facebook stories with the blue ‘unwatched’ rings annoy you?
I see you! I welcome you! I know you!
(Not in a ‘scary-hiding-in-the-bushes kinda way)
And you’re appreciated! Regardless of your judgments. Thank you!
Wanna read more about the ins and outs and hows and whys of personal blogging round here? Click on, brave warrior, click on!
* Personal blogging – Risky Business
* Personal blogging – Dirty little secret
* Personal blogging – To be recognisable or to be unique?
* Personal blogging – Out for the count
* Personal blogging – Listless
* Personal blogging – The science of stars