Rerun Rebounds

Sometimes things I read on the internet stick to my brain. After all, everything we read on the internet is true, right? So just imagine how much wisdom there’s just there to be had, right at our fingertips. It’s AM-AH-ZING.
(Ok. After reading some of the (alien) conspiracy/flat earther/horoscopey blogs that ARE out there, ya might wanna take that with a grain of salt. Lotsa crazy out there too. Like me.)

But when I recently read about the psychological basis for being into re-watching old movies and series – a lot of things clicked for me.

Not because I rewatch things to fix anxiety (although I suppose, in tumultuous times like these that might still happen) but because the predictability of knowing what’s bound to happen IS indeed a comfort to me, and the nostalgia of reminiscing over things locked in your heart IS a source of happiness. Watching old series and movies again is a safety blanket that can make us (and definitely me) feel safe in an increasingly chaotic world.

I do it often. Marathon my seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (although often I just start in season 6/7 to gawk at those hot as fuck Spike/Buffy episodes).

Binge all those Nicholas Sparks movies like The Lucky One (all of the Zac Efron drool), Safe Haven (all of the Josh drool), The Choice (all of the…well…you get my point eh?) and wallow in their delightful love-lines and inevitable tough endings. Taking the sweet with the sour, because the inner cynic in me feels strongly that that’s just how life works. You get the good things, and then life strikes. But you can still be deliriously happy for a spell in between.

Anyway. I’m a re-watch addict. Not ashamed to admit it.

Until it struck me that this is not just a media-based issue in my life right now.
Because after every break-up I am usually quick to dive into a (couple of) rebounds. Who are never NEW to the playing field. Even in my love-life, I live on reruns. Because they’re safer. I suppose. Or just as stupid as watching an episode for the fifth time and still forgetting the ending (probably the latter).

Pick up the phone and app that one guy I had a few fun nights with five years ago and who I know will show up when beckoned. Venture back into talks with that old flame that didn’t work out in the past. Convince myself that going on a date with the one guy that scorned me ages ago is totally a smart idea. Because at least with these guys I know what I’m getting. Which. Is. Dumb. As. Fuck.

But the thing is – starting something new is fucking scary. It is. No matter how you twist and turn it into something grand. You WILL have to figure out how to model yourself in their presence. Get to know a new brain and see how it meshes with yours. Have to find buttons on a new body, and have to discover how to convey your needs all over again. There’s chances of failure on every corner and obviously a far slimmer chance at success.

It’s such a goddamn chore, in my head. Sometimes. Especially when you’re not feeling so great about yourself, or feel a little bit lost in your skin. Oftentimes. So I tend to put that off until I think I’m actually ready for something more than just silly fuckery with guys-who’ll-never-be. I put off dating until my rerun-binge ends and the rebounds are out of the system.

Yesterday, however, I actually found myself switching the TV that was playing Clueless for the 583453865th time to a new series (Black Sails). And just last week I replaced my Bathtub book by my freshly received ‘A young Geek’s tale‘. Seems the new-ness is taking over. Might there be an end to the rerun binge? And what about the rerun rebounds then?!

Who knows.

Did I mention I have a date this Sunday?
An actual datey-date?
It’s a new guy. Fresh from the playing field. Unknown. Mysterious. Shiny.

Not yet unpacked into the harsh realities of my judgy judgy world. Unmarred.
God that’s scary.
I’ll probably fuck it up.

(Oh boy, I do hope he’s not actually reading this.)
(Or am I too old to say such things)

11 thoughts on “Rerun Rebounds

  1. Congratulations on the date! See, there’s no way you could be left on the shelf or become an old cat lady, though it’s understandable why you may have had those concerns. I wish you the best of luck, just be your wonderful self and it’ll all work out perfectly.

    The appeal of the familiar – ahhh, so comforting! I have almost 1,200 games in my Steam library, but will probably never play most of them for more than a few minutes. (What, I have a problem, OK?!). I much prefer going back to an old favourite game rather than brave the initial “what-the-hell-am-I-supposed-to-be-doing-here?” of a new game.

    Maybe videogames are exactly like dates… here’s hoping you hit a super power and level up!


  2. What a delightful read. Not only for the ‘spell’ you put upon us with your marvelous way of capturing us to follow along your trail of thought.

    The sheer poetry of beautiful ‘strings -of-words’ like: “The nostalgia of reminiscing over things locked in your heart IS a source of happiness” or “You get the good things, and then life strikes. But you can still be deliriously happy for a spell in between.”

    A pleasure to the eye and it instantly invites to re-read such ‘wisdoms’ because they’re not just ‘words’. It rings a bell somewhere in my brain. ThanX.

    But most of all I would like to praise your openness, because for many of us there’s so much to be learned from your insights. The wisdom that sprouts from you, as a Queen of Self-Reflection.

    I’ve (OF COURSE) read all your previous contributions ‘to our world’ (thanx again) and I have this feeling you are stepping (or at least ‘tip-toe-ing) out of your comfortzone, which deserves a lot of respect (and admiration too). You’re one brave and smart girl. And most of all: A BEAUTY! Both in (physical) appearance as well as your personality!

    Good luck venturing into these unknown territories! I’m pretty sure you will find something that you were not looking for (because it was out of your realm) and I hope that it befits you and opens up new avenues! You deserve it (if only because of this (mental) bravery of yours). Fingers crossed! Here’s hoping! 🤞🏽


  3. I’m so fascinated by the science behind us re-watching things. I’m someone who feels uneasy when I don’t know the ending, so I find so much comfort in re-watching Love Actually, The Holiday, About Time. For me, it really does help my anxiety. Good luck on your date!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Here I am smiling again. Your writing is very therapeutic for me 😊. Enjoy your date. Relax and have fun, don’t overthink. When you are at bat, I’m sure you always think you are going to get a hit, never strikeout. Go enjoy life, YOLO. Now you can’t say you are too old to say that. 😆

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Don’t Ever
    Sing YOLO
    You Only
    Live Old
    You Only
    Love Young
    YOLY Works
    So Much Better
    Than YOLO
    Now And
    If You Believe
    It’s Only A Platitude
    Of Woo You May
    Never See
    The Placebo
    Effect Impact
    Stellar indeed besides
    THAT Neuroscience
    Shows Now Rationality
    Is Delusional As We
    All Basically
    As Hallucinations
    Built on Hallucinations
    Before Truly most
    Of Our Reality
    Or CR8ZY
    LiFE S8CKS
    We Co-Create
    AS Our Reality Now
    Don’t Fall to
    The Delusion
    Of Order We
    Build Lest
    We Never
    See Chaos
    MaGiC You
    Create only
    Yours In 🔑 Keys
    Of Ways To Keep
    i realize all this
    Sounds Vague
    But of
    Course it
    Is as No
    One Holds my Key
    To Seek,
    Find, Opening
    Up Colors of Life,
    No one Will possibly
    Take away as ‘They’
    See Colors
    Of MaGiC Now
    Within Breathing🌊
    In Short i Rarely
    Others Do😁

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh my goodness. Who are you and how did you come upon my blog? (Which I’m so glad btw because if you didn’t I wouldn’t be able to read your posts). Not gonna lie, cross my heart hope to die, this is the catchiest, funnest, and most interesting post I’ve ever read on here for quite some time now.

    Can we be, like, friends?


    *puppy eyes*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The mysterious ways of the WordPress universe with a good dose of chance and luck and a dash of boredom leading to clicking on those blog suggestions at the bottom of fun other blogs 🤣🥳🤪

      I’ll send you the friend form!
      Please return in threefold, signed in pink glitter and in an envelope containing something of the sugary variety to sweeten the deal. Should be fine! 🤣🤭


  7. I am really inspired along with your writing abilities as neatly as with the structure to your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way stay up the excellent quality writing, it is uncommon to peer a great weblog like this one nowadays.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words!
      The theme is just one of the free ones that are available on WordPress, with very little customising done to it, actually. I just used the basic editor to get it to where it is now 🙂


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