Decidably Soupy

Anyone that knows me a little knows this about me:

I love soup.

Sure. Anything fried, greasy or otherwise bad-for-my-health ALSO makes me do a little happy dance. But on the whole, if I had to pick one type of meal to eat for the rest of my life…it would be soup. Soup rocks.

I have never met a soup that wasn’t (unless badly prepared or very spicy) not like a bunch of angels pissing on my tongue. I really, truly, sincerely and very passionately love soup.

Mostly because my grandmother is the QUEEN of soups (and has thus spoiled me rotten with her split-pea soups. Brown bean soups. Vegetable soups (and Sunday soups, with fancy marrow balls and meat). Chicken soups. Aspargus soups. And the list goes on. And on. And on). I sometimes dream of my grandmothers soups. I’m not even joking.

So usually when I do grocery shopping (which I attempt to avoid on the whole, on any given day, to be fair). I will acquire soups. Be they canned, or potted or bagged or still-in-ingredient-form – I will make sure that my life will always contain soup in the foreseeable future. As I did last week when I ordered in my shoppings.

In my haul this time was a new experiment. The supermarket butcher/grocer section here has a new range of ‘fresh’ made soups in convenient two person (which always translates to one generous one) portion soup bins. I, obviously, tried the entire range. And what I found today, after having prepared the last plastic container of Zucchini-soup – is that they all suck.

Each and every one of these store-bought ‘fresh and fantastic’ soups is a foul rip-off of the term soup. They’re flavorless. Barely stocked with any vegetable. And bland. Oh so bland.

Which got me thinking. About soup, for starters.
And then (as usually happens in my brain) about my own soup-like qualities.

You see. The thing about pre-packed, pre-cooked and pre-prepared meals as we tend to get in supermarkets these days….is that they’re awfully convenient. Convenient. But basic. And in their basicness: bland.

Because the thing about these ready-made contraptions is that they have to be suitable for the widest possible range audience as can be gotten. As long as the flavor is offensive to none, they’re a possible purchase for all. In order to be successfully sold – they need to appeal to the many.

Which means that they pretty much tend to taste like nothing. Or salt. Everyone likes salt, apparently (I definitely do, so that’s a win for me). Which also goes for soupland. Soups sold in supermarkets are just watered down (literally) rip-offs of the rich, flavorful and perfect soups my grandmother used to make. They’re easy to purchase, they fill the stomach and they get the job done. They barely have any content but are, in effect, soup. But afterwards you’ll have 0 memory of having had said soup, nor any happy joyful feelings remaining. They’re just there. Nothing more, nothing less.

Lo and behold when I realized that that is exactly what I’ve been thinking I have to do to myself in order to get back to the dating market and men in general. Somehow, over time, I’ve seemed to have come to the conclusion that I have to be supermarket soup to be considered successful in the dating-world. That I had to be an attractive-enough-and-convenient purchase for all of the suitors out there. Because if not EVERYONE liked me, what would my worth be, at all, right? Can’t be successful if no one wants to buy the product.

When I started taking the number of matches I get on Tinder, the number of messages I get on a dating site or the number of men I can seduce into my life as a measure of my own success (and validation of my ‘self‘) – that’s where I went from being grandma’s soup to supermarket cans. Because the thing is….it is (now that I think about it) NOT at ALL important to build up the perfect (but bland) dating profile. I don’t need to be on the shopping list for all the dweebs out there, I just need to find that one perfect purchaser.

Sure. You can have pretty pictures, basic bitch hobbies (like all of those barbie blonde ditzy chicks with their festival attendances, their barbecue lust, their ‘hanging out and watching netflix’) and an otherwise unremarkable profile text to be a great big success on dating apps. Rake in the men by the millions. Blend instead of stand out and thus be appealing to pretty much everyone. Be supermarket soup.

But in the end – aren’t we all looking for the guy with enough passion for soup to drive an hour to the next town to go to that small family-owned butcher-shop who still make their own soups according to grandmas recipe. And in that sense, the guy who will appreciate all of the actual qualities that make you so uniquely you. (I’ve been having about five people tell me this on a regular basis, so it oughta be true).  Instead of the easy-going guy who just gets the bland bland soup….and bitches, because he frankly doesn’t really care that much as long as he gets his stomach filled?

Yep.
From now on – I’ll be making a lot more of soup myself. And I’ll be making myself into a much better soup. Eh. Person.

45 thoughts on “Decidably Soupy

  1. What a marvelous piece of both writing-(skills), openness and self-reflection, once again. I enjoyed it and I love it. This is personal blogging at it’s best.

    And what a great comparison. “Soup is the song of the hearth” is once again proven right!

    As always you can actually feel ‘the bridge’-part to the deeper layer build up from the get go. Nothing ‘soupy’ about your writing.

    So now, from now on ‘taste’ like a first-rate soup (because: “A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting.” — Abraham Maslow). In Michelin-terms: you’re worth a detour, for sure (if not ‘the journey’)!

    In my humble opinion you’ve got all the best ingredients to be one of the (at least figuratively speaking) ‘hottest’ soups out there. So I’m damn sure, with this ápproach’ you will succeed in finding that one perfect ‘purchaser.’

    The lucky bastard! 😉

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I love how often you compare yourself to inanimate objects and other forms of food etc. You use these analogies well to describe your thoughts, feelings and self-opinions 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Makes sense, we all come from this world so we are all linked in some way or another. All objects or beings of the same planet. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Textured, you are.

    Bland leads to blah, and blah leads to standardised lighting.

    Textured leads to darkness with a torch in it, and torchlight leads to adventure.

    (Muppet Jedi soup wisdom… sort of)

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Love it! I am currently taking a dating app break. I did build a profile that was homemade soup and all I seemed to attract were bots! There were a few nice guys that just were not a love connection. Best of luck.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. What’s true for intsntant soup is the same fo all ready meals. They’re bland and tasteless and, while no-one hates them, no-one particularly likes them either.

    The rest of your analogy is absolutely spot on…

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Your posts make me smile, they’re a delight to read. “Angels pissing on your tongue” made me LOL. And, now you’ve so brilliantly described it, your new attitude to dating makes perfect sense. Here’s to being flavourful! Though have you tried Covent Garden soup in cartons? Their chicken soup is my favourite, apart from my own.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Ehr…I was already having a comment in mind about my favourite homemade avocado soup with lime and coriander you can wake me up for, when I reached the part that made me realise this is not about soup.🤔😂

    Liked by 2 people

      1. (This is the soup I want to be. A little bit of everything😇😁)
        Fry some red onion, garlic and red chili. Add broth and cook for a few minutes, cool a bit down again. Mash avocados with creme fraiche, lime juice and zest, add and blend. Add coriander. Add Dutch shrimps. Dig in.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well, you could try a bit of smoked salmon instead, but really, the addition of the sweetness of the shrimp is creating a perfect combination: sweet, sour, creamy, spicy, salt, bitter, umami…

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I think soups and people who try to please everyone become mediocre. Maybe you (or the soup) won’t be everyone’s flavor, but you (or again the soup) wil lbe the right flavor for the right person. If you’re now confused, then you should try living in my head sometime.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hey Zoe! After reading this fun filled creative delicious soup I felt lucky..You are absolutely magical with writing and I love this illustrution of soup though I am a hotelier but never had such a creative thought with food stuff.
    Really enjoyed your writing with perfect blend of richness with adequate balance of ingredients & I can never forget that Tinder context..still makes me smile.
    Keep writing & have a great week ahead with lot of positivity & lights!😇🙌🙌

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Truly enjoyed this post. For starters, I love soup, too. Even if it is warm, I would like soup, thankyouverymuch. But your realizations after are even nicer. I cannot agree with you more. The more you are yourself, the better the odds that you will attract this one person that likes exactly just what you have to offer. It is the best way to start dating actually, and also protects you from men who are lightyears from your perfect match. Saves time!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I enjoyed reading this post. It was clever and insightful. I wonder if readers nodded their head, I did. I thought I like unique, and homemade soup but I often succumb to the temptation of pre packaged all the same.
    I think we are both belong to the club that loves the WW (Weird and Wonderful) and the temptation to try new things – I think I will throw some taco chips in that omelette. Why not?
    Have fun being you, unique stands out and I think it’s makes for a much tastier soup/life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m definitely hoping for some headnods!
      And people appreciating their own soupyness 🤭🤣.
      Omelettes with taco chips work, just fyi xD
      Although…that goes for pretty mucho anythingo with da taco!

      Liked by 1 person

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