And then I tell myself…

One from the archives – just to end the week with a flair of drama:

And then I tell myself.


They tell me to be strong.
They tell me to heal.
And then I tell myself….
Maybe I was happier being unhappy with you.

They tell me I’m being strong.
They tell me I’m healing.
And then I tell myself…
How can I be, without you.

They tell me strength comes over time.
They tell me time heals all wounds.
And all I’m telling me…
Is exactly what I wanna hear.

And I’ll be looking.
Floundering for that solution.
A stitch. Or five.
A muzzle.
A wrap wrapped so tight my lips can no longer lie.
Because I keep telling myself all the things I don’t wanna hear.
Shouldn’t hear.
Can’t hear.

But instead of falling on deaf ears..
All I seem to do is swallow all of the sweet words I tell myself.
But when will I tell myself to choose me?

And then I tell myself…
Maybe.
Whatever the fuck that means.

12 thoughts on “And then I tell myself…

  1. As a 66 year old brahmacharya male hermit, I don’t think I’m your target audience. Still, for today, I have a kind of appreciation for other people’s perspectives, yours in particular, because “whatever the fuck that means” is kind of my mantra at the moment. Geez, sometimes I can’t believe how seriously humans take “relationships.” They always seem to turn into such distracting pains in the ass.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Hell. I did not expect to learn an entirely new word at this hour of my Sunday night.

      And yeah…I suppose with your life choices that this sort of ‘seriousness’ must seem very silly. Which, in a way, puts all of this in an entirely soothingly new perspective…sort of.

      This type off pain in the ass suddenly becomes a choice, not a given – because I could also be of your convinction and skip all of this (but wouldn’t want to. Since I’ll take the pain for the benefit that also comes with it).
      Thank you!!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. “They tell me strength comes over time.
    They tell me time heals all wounds.
    And all I’m telling me…
    Is exactly what I wanna hear.”

    This is EXACTLY what I wanna hear on this Sunday afternoon!

    Liked by 3 people

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