Sometimes you can’t help but accidentally overhear conversations and in doing so catch a glimpse of the unknown lives of random strangers. And admittedly…sometimes I can’t help myself…and listen in on purpose. There’s too much interesting things around us not to eavesdrop once in a while. Shame on me. I know. 0 shreds of decency here. Oh. And 0 remorse.
Yesterday I found myself at a softbal game up north and got in one such situations. While waiting in line for some classic cafeteria foods prepared in a greasy clubhouse kitchen – my ear fell on to two elderly people discussing…well…their lovelives.
These were the type of ‘awwww’ elderly people. You know the ones. All helpless and pruny. Fragile and with old-folk-cracking-voices. An gentleman of age and a slightly younger dame of grey. Distinguished. They discussed the passings of their partners right there next to the booth. And in doing so managed to put my entire life into perspective. Abruptly.
Because this old lady was asked how long it had been since she’d lost her partner. And she answered with a staggering ‘I’ve been alone for 26 years now ever since Mijndert passed’.
26 fucking years of fending for herself after the loss of a beloved partner. The inner romantic in me cheered at the lovely notion of it while simultaneously bawling her eyes out at the intense sadness.
We current day maniacs rush into things. Rush through them. Rush along our imaginary life tracks and rush towards goals which are ever becoming more challenging. We no longer seem to have that time for appreciating time. And eachother.
When things are easily gained, attained and exhanged when needed, they tend to lose their value in a way.
Which becomes apparent on a lot of levels. These days it’s a rarity to work at a company for a lifetime. Someone at my firm, just last week, celebrated 40 years with the company. And all around were flabbergasted gasps, because that’s pretty much unheard of. We switch jobs as often and easily as we do our cars, houses…and partners. It’s all a matter of getting hooked, hooking up and moving on these days. Easy as switching jobs.
Lifetime connections and sticking with someone (or something) for an eternity is not done no more.
But when an elderly lady at a softball match just casually comments on her 26 year span of alone-time (by choice) in honor of a deceased husband which she never stopped loving…you really get life-slapped in the face with a reality check. Because love like that existed. Exists. And is still there to be had. Better yet – it’s not just reserved for the cute and croaky elderly folk either. It just takes a different look at spending time. It just takes dedication. And it just takes one success.
Because once you find/make that one right match – whether it’s a job, place or lover – you’ll have all the time to relish that. There’s never a rush. If you’re not afraid to go oldschool deep.