The Wind (or Tornado) of Change.

If you believe the interwebs (which I obviously always do!) – everything in your body is replaced in a seven-year time span with cells dying and regenerating. Something that is rumored to be on the basis of your taste in foods changing every so often – which is why you can HATE the taste of a certain something and years later find yourself binging on it (I had this epiphany with pickles, mayonnaise, wine (!!!) and a couple of vegetables that I could no longer live without).

It’s why every so often I force myself to (re)try things I’m pretty sure I hated (or would hate if I’d actually ever tried). Beer, for instance (still in the no-zone). And spicy foods (plx, NO. I still cry.). Or fishy things that still look like fishy things (TAKE THE PRAWNS AWAY FROM ME!). We change. So does our taste. And I like discovering these sorts of changes. Most of the time.

But sometimes you’ll find yourself dumbfounded when things change overnight – and you had not calculated for them ever changing (ever again). You’ll find yourself suddenly slightly nauseous in undertaking things you used to love. Saddened by doing something you were once really good at. And then questioning yourself because it freaks yourself the fuck out that you’re no longer who you thought you were to your core.

I’ve spent the last 2 years exploring a world that I thought fit me to a tee. That was the home I always wanted. That offered me all the ingredients I’d need to cook up a storm. And now, overnight, I find myself having lost interest in it to a degree that I get a bad taste in my mouth partaking in the things I’d come to love. It feels wrong. Bad. Not-me. Which is fucking freaky – considering the commitment with which I’d plunged in and dove deep. To say it feels like your feet being swept out from under you….is an understatement. It shakes a person to the core.

And it brings about the question on whether all change should be embraced – or whether some need to be fought.

Do I fight this – and force myself back into the game until it suits me again like it used to? Do I embrace this and switch back to the person I thought I was before? Do I consider reinventing myself or accept that ‘this just is who I am now’? Or do I just come back around to trying this every seven years to see if my tastes are just changing?

When you find change, in yourself or the world around you, it’s not always obvious what the best course of action is. But choosing wrong might be detrimental. Fight or Flight…Freeze or Force and whatever else you can think of in the area of best-case-responses – it’s a puzzle I’ve not yet solved.

Guess I’ll just be eating a lot more pickles before I suddenly stop loving those too!

7 thoughts on “The Wind (or Tornado) of Change.

  1. “I’ve spent the last 2 years exploring a world that I thought fit me to a tee. That was the home I always wanted. That offered me all the ingredients I’d need to cook up a storm. And now, overnight, I find myself having lost interest in it to a degree that I get a bad taste in my mouth partaking in the things I’d come to love.”
    I think there’s nothing wrong with reinventing yourself. If it, whatever it is, is making you feel that way, try something different. Don’t do something that you don’t wanna do.

    Like

  2. Change is hard, but you’ll get there! Change is for the better and reading your other writings, you are in one of the phases you go thru while mourning. Nothing wrong with that. It also seems you’ve been used and abused by somebody. Take your time and heal.

    Like

    1. Accurate observation in regards to those phases. Although most Days I’m still stuck in those first two stages (Denial and Isolation and Anger). I do try to skip to Acceptance every now and then tho.

      Not really going splendidly yet, but I’ll get there.

      Like

  3. Well forcing it probably won’t help much this time. I guess.. yeah you probably want to get back on track. Have your feet steady on a path instead of wandering lost. Parts of the pieces that was your puzzle are also lost and wandering. And it doesn’t come in a day or a month to see if you notice one of those pieces when you wander by and pick them up. Maybe you found a part that better suits you. Sometimes you will be falling, running or walking on heels. And if they end up hurting your feet being carried like a damn queen. You take the time to wander. You know not all those who wander are lost. Cause friends will know how to find you and walk beside you when needed.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: