I have a slight dramatic streak. And when I say ‘slight’, I add in that word just to make it sound a little less…dramatic. Because (and I’ve always blamed this on the fact that I’m a ‘writer’ because that sounds a lot better than being emotionally unstable) I have a tendency to draw everything into corners and extremes – whether it’s emotions, activities or experiences.
I retell stories with a bit more flair than the actual execution, feel things with a bit more depth than required and generally just ‘overdo’ most things in life. I should’ve been born as Sharpay in High School Musical – I think. EXTRA!
But that also means that when you come across the ‘real’ things in life that cause changes overnight – that hits me a bit harder than I’d like to admit. So a break-up can have the nasty side-effects of cowering in a corner while chanting to yourself about how you’ll never be able to find any happiness in anything anymore (don’t worry – corners have been avoided so far). But the disappearance of happiness, is one of those issues that can’t long be avoided.
Lessons from the past have taught me that while it might be hard to begin when all you want to do is end, doing so is usually the easiest way to get out of a (self-created) slump. But when it comes to acquiring happiness, that is not the easiest of chores. So last weekend, when pondering my dark and foul moods of the past month ‘after-him’ I made a very easy list.
Things that make me happy.
Correction. Things that STILL make me happy, regardless of who I am ‘after’ (which is still quite a puzzle). It wasn’t very long, granted – because most things (I feel) have been tainted by the past year, but there were still some items on there that genuinely, intensely make me happy.
Top of that list (not counting McDonalds)?
‘Having the Christmas tree up year-round’ has been on my bucketlist for ages. I ALMOST made it two years ago – when I put it up in November and kept it until well into October. Then – however – I became a foster home for a litter of six kittens who would’ve demolished a tree…NINE DAYS BEFORE THE YEAR WAS UP. But I took it down anyway. Anything for the kitties.
And what better moment to initiate a retry when you’re in sob-mode and desperately looking for some happiness? Right. There IS no better moment.
So there you have it. As of last week – my house now holds a bright and shiny christmas tree. Which will be there ALL. FUCKING. YEAR.
(Not that that makes it the weirdest item of decoration in my house by a longshot…as I tend to acquire items that reflect my ‘extra’-ness. Like the Thai cardboard-feathered owl that lives on my window sill. Or the mini-handcuffed minion that inhabits my toilet. And the christmas-hatted trio of meerkats that guard my tv together with Neanderthal-minion Ben. I’m just weird like that.)
And that. Makes me happy.